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Jack cleared his throat and gently squeezed my arm. “I’ll go sit with Jesse and give you two some privacy.”
I watched him sit on the carpet next to Jesse and took a deep breath before looking back at Jesse’s teacher. “What happened?”
“It’s family week and we’re learning about all different types of families. Another little boy was talking about his family and he talked about his dad the whole time. Jesse got upset and pushed the other student down. It was completely out of nowhere.” She gripped her hands together in front of her. “I’m not a therapist, but-”
“You wouldn’t have to be to see the issue here.” I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. “I moved here so we could use the childcare offered by the school, but also because Jesse’s father is here. I’ve tried. I’m still trying. How do you make a man be a father if he doesn’t want to? Jesse deserves a father, though. He needs one. I know it’s not normal for him to just ask men he’s only seen a couple of times to be his dad. I… Was the other boy okay?”
She took my hand and held it between both of hers. She wasn’t that much older than me but in that moment, I felt like a child. “He’s fine. No harm done. They were giggling together after I called the office. There’s a zero tolerance policy, which is why Jesse has to go home for the day. If it were up to me, I’d keep him here and not interrupt his school day.
“I have a two-year-old at home and I don’t know what I’d do without my boyfriend’s support. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with Jesse’s dad.” She glanced over at Jesse and Jack and smiled. “He may have only seen that man a few times, but look at them. The male support doesn’t always need to be the bio dad.”
I forced a smile and looked away. “I can’t ask him to parent my son.”
“I just meant that seeing you with your male friend could be good for him. The three of you hanging out together doesn’t have to be parenting.”
Jack looked over at me and smiled. My fake smile turned real and I looked down at the floor to hide the look on my face. Taking a deep breath, I looked back to Ms. Emily. “I’ll talk to him, 0f course, but is there anything else I need to do? If I need to apologize to the other boy’s parents, I will.”
“Don’t be silly, Ms. Oakley. There’s nothing else you need to do. You can use the room, if you want. I’m going to sneak down to the cafeteria before the first lunch teachers steal all the brownies.”
I waved her off and joined Jesse and Jack on the carpet. Jesse watched me closely as I knelt in front of him and then carefully kept myself covered while going to my butt. His eyes were wide with worry and I couldn’t stand seeing him like that.
“Am I in trouble?”
I scooted closer to him and brushed his hair off his forehead. He’d need a haircut soon. “Let’s come back to that. Can you tell me what happened?”
He toyed with his shoelaces and sighed like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I pushed Keaton down.”
“I heard. Can you tell me why you pushed Keaton down? I thought Keaton was your friend.”
“Keatonismy friend!” Jesse crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. He wanted to be done with the conversation.
“It’s okay to be upset right now. It’s hard to talk about mistakes we make. It’s important that we do talk about them, though, so they don’t happen again. And so you can get help if you need help with something.” I cupped his face and lifted it so he was looking at me again. “If Keaton is your friend, why’d you push him?”
Jesse’s eyes welled up with tears and his little cheeks turned bright red. “He wouldn’t stop talking about his dad! He always talks about his dad!”
I pulled him into my chest and wrapped him in a bear hug as he sobbed. I stroked his back while gently rocking him. “Thank you for telling me, buddy.”
He clung to me and I felt his hot tears on my neck. “I don’t have a dad!”
Pain suckerpunched me in the chest and I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see Jack’s face watching me in that moment. I never felt guiltier for my past than when it hurt Jesse. I’d gotten involved with a guy who wouldn’t be a father to Jesse. I hurt Jesse.Me.
I flinched when Jack wrapped his arms around us, so used to being alone with Jesse that the contact startled me. I opened my eyes and met his questioning gaze. He wasn’t sure if he could hug us after my reaction. I desperately wanted to be held, even if it only lasted a few seconds, so I held out my hand for him.
He held us until the sound of a bell ringing startled us apart. Climbing to his feet, he noticed that Jesse had passed out and reached down to take him from me. Holding Jesse across his wide chest, he pulled me up with his other hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
20
***Caleb***
I’drunthroughmydrills twice already and Coach was still eyeing me like he wanted to puntmedown the field. I winked at him and saw him shake his head before stalking away. Miss one field goal during practice and suddenly it’s the end of the world with that guy. He didn’t trust my method of saving it all for the game. In the four years I’d been the kicker, I’d never missed a single kick, though, so the proof was in the pudding.
I sat on the bench next to Andrew. The defensive team had just finished practicing and he was soaked in sweat, but I’d caught the tail end of a conversation between him and Jack before practice that I was willing to smell his stink to hear the rest of it.
His eyes were glued to the field, where the offensive team was still practicing. I followed his gaze and saw he was glaring in the direction of Taylor. “That fucker needs to learn a lesson.”
I rested my elbows on my knees and found Jack on the field. “What happened today?”
In the middle of Andrew telling me, my blood boiled so hot that I had to stand up and shake my hands out. I didn’t know what the fuck to do with Jesse, but for the kid to be hurting so much because of a jackass on our team… I couldn’t stand it.
