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I tossed my various bags of supplies into the backseat and got in. “I am as nervous as a cat in a room full of cucumbers.”
Peeling away from the curb, she laughed as I struggled to put my bandana on with the wind already whipping my hair around. “I’m nervous, too. I can’t believe you let the guys style him for his first dance. It’s his first dance, Little Kitty. He needs to be fabulous and you know my team could’ve created fabulous with their eyes closed.”
“It’s a sixth grade dance, Kitty. If he shows up in full rhinestone, he’s going to stand out.”
“As he should.”
“Plus, you know how excited the guys were. They’ve been talking about this for months. Jack canceled his classes and sent out an email to everyone about why, just so he could brag about Jesse. Andrew’s working on a case with one of the senior partners at his firm and he’s talked about it so much that Frank, the partner, sent flowers to the school for me today. For having to deal with Andrew. His words.” I bit my lip as I thought about the way Caleb had expressed his excitement about the day during my lunch break. Thank god he’d bought a bigger car after becoming a family man.
“And Caleb?” Kitty saw my face and grinned. “Thatta boy, Caleb. He’s always been my favorite. I love a man who focuses in times of panic.”
I nodded along until I realized she’d said the word panic. “Panic? Why would there be panic?”
“Their son is going to his first dance and we’ve all been circling the drain for forever now about whether or not Jesse has a crush on his little friend, Daryl. Tragic name, but a true cutie, if you ask me.” She glanced at me like I’d lost my mind. “How are younotfreaking out? This could be Jesse’s first crush! It’s a big deal! I still remember my first crush. Harry. No, Jerry… Ronnie?”
I waved her off. “He’s too young to have a crush. He’s still my baby.”
“The guys don’t think so.”
“What are you saying?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “Are ya’ll in another group chat without me?”
“Well, yeah. But only because you get all uptight about some things.” Shrugging, she swung the car around a turn and stepped on the gas.
“I’m dating three men, Kitty! I’m not uptight!” I realized how shrill my voice had gotten and took a calming breath. “I hate it when you guys group chat. Y’all scheme. If I could trust that you weren’t scheming against me, I wouldn’t say anything. Last time I caught you, though, you, Andrew, and Jack were trying to talk Caleb into renaming a portion of the company Olive’s Loaf.”
“It worked for Victoria!”
“I’m not arguing with you about this again.” I shook my head and tried not to laugh. I didn’t want to encourage her. “Back to the original point. There won’t be any panic. Even if the guys thought Jesse had a crush on Daryl, they wouldn’t panic. They’re not assholes.”
“Of course, not! They love Daryl and I’ve already seen Caleb eyeing my rhinestones and watching documentaries about growing up gay. They’re panicking because they’re helicopter dads, Little Kitty. They see their little boy growing up and they’re accepting that it’s happening, unlike you. They’re just not handling it all that well.”
“What do you know?” I turned to face her completely. “Tell me or I’ll call the Trashed Twins and give them your new address.”
She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
“I would.”
Kitty had met and married a great guy named Simon who was ten years younger and somehow had more money than her, something I didn’t think possible. After he visited Jolly Pines once, she’d vowed to never allow Barb and Brenda to be within a thousand feet of him. They’d trauamatized the poor man. Kitty’s new address where she lived with Simon was top secret. Only Jerry and I knew it. The rest of the Jolly Pines gang wasn’t allowed that kind of clearance. So a threat like the one I was making was serious.
“Fine, you asshole. They’re freaking out because they think Jesse is going to grow away from them. Seeing him blossoming has them all nervous. They aren’t legally bound to him and I think sometimes they feel like boyfriends instead of dads. I don’t know why. Jesse calls them dads! Jesse loves them like they birthed him themselves. I think they’re pmsing or something.”
I sank back in the seat and looked out at the road. “Why didn’t they say anything to me?”
“They’re men, honey. You can’t expect them to make sense all the time. They know you’ve been busy with work and they didn’t want to stress you out.” She reached over and took my hand. “They love both of you so much that I think they just get scared sometimes.”
“I’m just going to ask them to marry me.” I jerked forward when she slammed on the brakes. “Shit! Kitty!”
She flipped off a driver who honked at us. “You can’t propose to them!”
I scoffed. “Yes, I can. I’ve been waiting on them to do it and if they’re scared because there’s no legal binding, I’ll marry them right now. We’re living in modern times, Kitty. Get used to it.”
“No, no, no. You have to let them do it in their own time. They’re sensitive men, Little Kitty. Men! You know…”
“No. I don’t know. I’m just going to do it. I can’t stand the idea of them worrying about their bond with Jesse being fragile in any way. They’ve been the most amazing fathers in every way possible. The things they’ve done for him…” I sniffled as my emotions got the best of me. “They are the best thing to ever happen to us. And before you get all pissy, without them, I never would’ve met you, Kitty. I never would’ve made it to Jolly Pines. I need them to be secure. So, I’m doing it. Give me some of your rings for now, please.”
She jerked her hand away from me. “No way! These were once worn by Dolly herself!”
“Fine.” I looked around. “Stop at that gas station, please.”
