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“I am a flawed man, Luna, but I am also a remorseful man and I’ve done the work to repent and be the man that you all deserved. Yes, I slept with another woman. Had a relationship with her outside of my marriage. But I am not a cheater. I made a one time mistake, recognized that, and became the man I vowed to be on the day of our wedding. I think this holds true for Roman,” he says.
I feel this is my opportunity to plead my case and think cautiously about my next words.
“Baby. Everything your dad just said is exactly what I am feeling. Except for the feeling neglected. You give me more than I deserve. I let a sly woman convince me it was what I wanted. It was a weak moment that I stopped before it got to sex.”
Her parents look confused with knitted brows and questioning eyes.
I turn to them and give as much of an explanation as I can manage. “I didn’t sleep with her. She did…something, but I realized what a huge mistake it was and stopped it before it could become something worse. It was once. I swear to you both. I’ve been riddled with guilt everyday since, but thought if I just stayed on the straight and narrow, she would never have to find out.”
“Then why-“ her mom begins to ask but is stopped when Luna speaks up.
“Because he forgot about our date night and came home with someone’s lipstick on his neck. That’s why?”
“Roman,” her dad drawls.
“No, no, no.” I explain. “I was taken by surprise when I wasn’t paying attention. She reached over and kissed me and I immediately pushed her away. I told her not to touch me and fully intend to report what happened to HR on Monday. There were witnesses. Other people from the office saw what happened and can back me up on it.”
“This isn’t one of your fucking cases, Roman. And I am not a client you can manage,” she snaps.
“I know you’re not and I’m not treating it as such. It’s because of what happened last year that I am so cautious of being around any woman. I address the women in my office as professionals and leave it there at the end of the day.”
I walk around my desk and stop in front of her as Estella and Jake watch on.
“I love you with every piece of me, and need you more than I need air to breathe. Let me prove to you that I can make amends.” I reach out for her hands, but she jerks away and steps back.
“What about the drinking? The going out on a constant basis? You’re at work or the bars more than you are home.The kids and I get your leftovers and lemme tell ya…they aren’t good.”
I nod and drop my head in shame because she’s right. I give them what little I have left at the end of each day and it isn’t more than a few words.
I’ve neglected her. Sex is a duty for her and the intimacy is nonexistent. And it all falls on me.
“I’ll stop it all. I’ll go to counseling, with or without you. And I-I’ll still move out for a little while-“
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” her dad adds.
“Jake. She needs the space and I’ll give it to her. Whatever she needs,” I tell him then shift focus back to Luna. “But I refuse to believe this is the end of our story.”
She stares into my eyes with tears building. Her lip quivers and my dam breaks. I let my tears fall without a care that my in-laws are watching me fall apart.
I step forward and take her in my arms. She lets her arms hang at her sides, not reciprocating, but she doesn’t push me away.
“We’ll give you two a minute.” Her mother passes us, giving us both a gentle pat before leaving with Jake.
The door shuts behind them and it snaps Luna from our solitary moment.
“No,” she shakes. “We’re sticking with what we talked about. You’re leaving and eventually, the kids will get used to you not being here everyday and then we can end things, amicably.”
“It won’t be amicable, Luna. I’m going to fight for us. That’s a fact,” I insist. “I’ll stay with my dad like you’ve asked, but I really want us to try counseling. Please, baby? Please?”
Her jaw clenches and her nostrils flare. Her head moves back and forth slowly as the tears keep trailing down her face.
“Please, Luna. Please? Please. Pl-“ I sputter through my tears and feel her slipping further away.
She moves to the door and says, “I’m going to go say goodbye to my parents. If you still want to spend the day with the kids, I’ll fix their lunch before I go.”
Her voice is cold as is the look in her eyes. She opens the door and walks out, leaving me standing in a puddle of my own grief.
Chapter 5
