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“How are you doing, babe?” Dani asks me.
“Good,” I say. “I’m having fun. Thank you for dragging me out.”
She puts her hand on my arm, stopping me from taking another swig, and looks intently at me.
“No. I mean how areyou?Really.”
The look in her eyes tells me she’s asking about Roman and me and not my mood here in the club.
I sigh. “I don’t know, D. I’m so confused. One minute I’m pushing him away, the next I’m pulling him in.”
On the drive over to the bar, I told Dani all about how my morning started. She fanned herself off and said, “lord, my loins are on fire just thinking about him fucking you with the shower head.”
“I’m so angry with him. I’m furious. I want to hurt him as badly as he’s hurt me. But dammit, Dani…I can’t breathe when I think of not having him in my life.”
Dani sets her glass on the counter and places her hands on my arms and looks at me with such sincerity.
“Luna…no one will fault you for giving your husband a second chance. There is no shame in making a marriage work.”
My nose stings as tears threaten to fall.
“Lane will judge,” I tell her.
“Lane needs to calm his tits. Your marriage has no effect on his life. Y’all are fraternal twins, not conjoined. Although…I’m thinking he wouldn’t be too mad about sharing a bed with your fine ass man.”
I chuckle at the pure truth of that statement.
“But seriously, babe. I am so mad at Rome for what he did to you, but I know what a good man he really is. I teeter between wanting to chop his dick off, grinding it to mince meat and force feeding him, to shaking him and telling him to wake up and grovel at your feet. I’ve witnessed your highs as a couple and now I’m seeing you at your lowest. I wouldn’t be a real friend if I told you only what you want to hear. So…here it goes.
“I love you both, very much. Roman has had many asshole moments, but you’ve equally matched him with your bitchy ones. I do believe that this is the one and only time he has done this, and I believe, deep in my heart, that he is remorseful. I won’t tell you to give up on that lying bastard and take him for everything he’s worth. That’s not you. I will tell you that you need to really think about what you want for your future.
“Is the trust damaged beyond repair, or is it worth saving? Will you be able to live a life without him? Will you be okay with seeing him during kid hand-off? Will you be okay seeing him with a new wife, a new life? Can you see yourself with another man? If the answer is no to any of those, then…I think you stay and fight.”
She finishes with a shrug and a tear in her eye.This girl.My sister at heart always speaks with such truth and clarity. And she’s right. I am devastated by what he did, but I don’t think I can live without him.
It may take a long time, but I need to try. I owe it to us to see if it can be mended.
I swallow down the lump in my throat and give her a soggy smile, a single tear streaking down my face.
“C’mere,” she says and pulls me into a hug.
I squeeze her back then pull away. We both wipe the dampness from under our eyes and laugh.
“Wow. Kind of depressing club talk, huh?” I say.
“You know, the club scene hits a lot harder at thirty three than at twenty three. And by hard I mean it hurts. Wanna get outta here?” Dani asks me.
“Yeah,” I say, twisting up my face. “I do. Let’s tell Lane. I’m sure he’ll be okay with his snack.”
She takes my hand in hers and we strut over to where my brother grinds on Johar like a bear trying to scratch against a tree.
I watch the way everyone dances sensually and think about the two of us with other people and…I just can’t. Roman is it for me. He’s my everything.
I have to find a way through this and back to us.
Chapter 10
Roman
