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As much as I hate to pull away intimately from her, if that’s what she needs that’s what I’ll give her. If she thinks sex will cloud her judgment then okay. Personally, I think sex will bring us closer but this is about what Luna needs to move forward.
“Okay. I understand. But can…can I kiss you?” I plead. And yes, I sound pathetic, but I’ll take whatever scrap she’s willing to give me.
“I guess a kiss is okay. But hands stay above the waist, buddy. Got it?” She asks and I nod. “Ok. So, in addition to no sex, I would like to go with you once a month to counseling. I think it’s important for you to still go on your own, but we need some help with us.”
“I think that is a great idea. I meet with the therapist next week. I’ll ask her what she feels is a good timeline for us to visit together.”
She goes back to chewing on her lip and stares at the ceiling. I can tell she has a lot going on inside her head, and I can tell it’s weighing her down.
“What else? Tell me whatever it is you need. Don’t hold back, Lu. I need to hear it all just as much as you need to get it out,” I tell her, hoping it calms some of her nerves.
With a quick breath, she says, “I need to know if there has been anyone else. Is there anything that I might find out that you’re hiding from me? Because I swear to God, Roman, if-“
“No. Nothing else. No one else. I swear to you. I told you about what Leilani did —and I absolutely reported her and had Trey to corroborate the events— and…you know. But that’s it. I promise. You will find no skeletons or secrets or, or, or anything.”
I hold my breath and pray she can see the truth in my eyes. Angela was the biggest mistake of my life and I’m still not sure how I let things get carried away. But there hasn’t been and never will be another woman other than Luna.
She’s my whole life, my entire world. Just her.
“I…I’m not saying this means all is forgiven and forgotten. I know it’s going to be hard but we have to have complete honesty when talking about our problems and what we need out of this to move forward. I’m going to try but please…just don’t rush me.”
“Never,” I assure her.
She nods and then rolls over, effectively ending our conversation. I don’t push. I slowly climb back under the sheets and inch by inch, move closer to her. I smell the coconut of her shampoo and I want to dive into her and drown. My hands itch to touch her body. I want to ravish her until she understands that she is the only one for me.
Instead, I carefully lay my arm over her and spoon behind her. She tenses for a moment then relaxes into my hold. Shedoesn’t move, doesn’t wiggle or say a word. She just lets me hold her and for now, that’s enough.
My first session with the therapist went well. Our initial conversation went much like the one I had with Luna. Be completely honest, no lying, no holding back, and be open to hearing things you may not like but need to know.
Dr. Brooks has counseled many couples on infidelity. She was professional and didn’t make me feel like I was being judged as a horrible person. I kept waiting for her to react and tell me I didn’t deserve my wife, but that never came. She didn’t immediately psycho-analyze me. She simply asked me to tell her everything. And, as much as it sucked, I did.
We also discussed a time for Luna to join me and decided I’d have two more sessions alone before including her. Dr. Brooks wants to talk about the “why’s” behind my cheating as well as prepare me for what Luna may say once were in a neutral zone.
Work was busy with me taking off the week before and with the added addition of finding a new assistant, I was stressed. More than one night I could’ve easily worked past the time my family was in bed, but I forced myself to put it down and go home. The work would be waiting for me the next day. Spending time with Luna and the kids was my top priority.
Friday night came fast and we decided to make it a family night. We took the kids to their favorite pizza place, then stopped at the arcade for a few games and treats.
By the time we got home, all three kids had crashed from their sugar high’s. I carried the twins up to bed, one on each shoulder, while Luna took Poppy. Together we were able to change three very sleepy kids and tuck them in without them so much as fluttering an eye.
When Luna and I climbed into bed that night, she didn’t wait for me to hold her. She rolled into me, her chest brushing against mine, and kissed me goodnight.
It started as a sweet touch of the lips but quickly turned heated. Her hands moved to the back of my head as she pulled me in closer. She threw her leg over my hip and I let my hand roam from her foot up to her ass, grabbing one luscious globe and squeezed. She moaned into my mouth and my dick sprang to life.
Our heated make out went on for a few more minutes before I pulled away.
“Baby. I want to rip your clothes off and ravage your beautiful body. But I don’t want to cross the lines you set in place,” I said, hoarsely.
“You’re right.” Her voice held a bit of disappointment as did her eyes. “Good night, Rome. I love you.”
My throat grew tight and it felt like the oxygen had been ripped from my lungs.
She told me she loved me.
I’d said it to her every night, every morning and pretty much anytime I thought of her. I sent texts while I was working and called every lunch hour just to hear her voice and tell her how much I loved her.
But this is the first time in weeks that she had said the words to me.
“I love you, baby. So much.”
