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I turned off all the lights and considered taking a shower, but secretly I wanted to relish in his scent lingering on my body for a little longer. So instead, I climbed under the sheets of my bed and turned out the lamp. My heavy eyelids fluttered shut, and my mind was filled with nothing but thoughts of him. The whole night played out like a movie on the backs of my eyelids, lulling me to sleep.
19
DEREK
Once again, Em was asleep by the time I made it home. Alyssa was too this time, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. She stirred awake at the sound of the front door closing.
“Sorry I kept you out so late,” I offered, tossing my keys onto the table.
“It’s okay,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “Em had a good night. We laughed and had a lot of fun. I read her stories until she fell asleep. Did you have fun?”
“Yeah,” I nodded listlessly, pulling out my wallet to pay her.
This was the second time I left Em with a babysitter that week, and even though she assured me Em was fine, and my little girl didn’t seem to mind me leaving, nagging guilt built up inside. It was easy to forget with all that tension building up between Melody and me. Still, it came on strong like a crashing wave the moment I realized she would expect me to stay the night. I felt like a jerk. I should have never let things go so far when I knew I couldn’t stay.
No one would have blamed me for spending the night with a woman when I had the chance, but I would never forgive myself if Em woke up with her night terrors and I wasn’t there to rock her back to sleep.
I paced the quiet house, raking my hands through my hair, replaying my last few moments with Melody in my mind over and over again. The look of disappointment on her face was haunting me. I could have just told the truth, but I felt a strange urge to keep those parts of my life separate. There was no reason for Em or Melody to know anything about each other. Whatever this thing between Melody and me was, it wasn’t going to be long-term anyway. The minute her mother’s lake house sold, she would be on the first plane back to New York.
It was just one night, I told myself with a heavy sigh. That’s all it could be. My mind was made up by the time my head hit the pillow. I’d go over the next day and offer to have someone else finish the work on the house. The other guys on our crew were all too old or not experienced enough to lead a good job without one of us around. But maybe Keith could step up and take over.
* * *
I was exhaustedwhen the sound of my alarm started blaring through my room, jerking me awake. My head was throbbing and the morning light stung my eyes. I wasn’t hungover, but I was drenched in sweat from tossing and turning all night through a restless sleep.
Em also seemed tired and cranky over breakfast, rubbing her eyes with a sleepy look on her face as she swirled her spoon around in her cereal. All the more reason to stop messing around with Melody for good, I thought. I didn’t have space for that kind of thing in my life, even if part of me really wanted more of her. And I obviously couldn’t control myself around her.
I found Melody in the kitchen as usual when I got over to the lake house. Her hair was thrown up in a bun, her skin was glowing around her bright eyes. She had obviously gotten better sleep than I had. She wore a silk robe in purples and pinks as she poured us both a cup of coffee.
“Oh, none for me. Thanks,” I waved.
Her face wrinkled the same way it had the night before when I said I had to leave so abruptly.
“I actually just came here to talk to you,” I ran my hand nervously down the back of my neck. “I, uh…I’m sorry about last night. Leaving like that. I shouldn’t have…well, anyway, I wanted to let you know I’ll have my brother take things over here.”
“What? Why?” she fretted, studying me closely. “You can’t be around me anymore? Not even to work on the house? I don’t understand.”
“No, it’s not that,” I insisted. “It’s not you at all. I just…obviously things are awkward and…I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“It may be a little awkward between us,” she admitted, shooting her eyes to the side in thought. But they quickly turned back to me with resolve. “But we’re adults, right? We both know I’m not going to be around town much longer, and last night was just…,” she trailed off, shaking her head. “I don’t want it to affect your job or the work you’re doing here. There’s no reason we can’t make it work. Come on, just have a cup of coffee and pretend like nothing ever happened.”
“I can’t do that,” I said firmly. It was true. There was no way I could forget about the night before. It was all I could think about any time I looked at her.
Her face twisted as she stammered, “I don’t…I don’t understand.”
“I’ve crossed too many lines with you as it is, Melody.”
“But I was crossing themwithyou,” she argued. “It’s not like I’m some helpless damsel in distress you took advantage of.”
“I’m not just talking about the other night,” I admitted. “I let…I let my feelings for you get in the way of my work here. I…I haven’t been honest with you about something. The work on the house…,” I dropped my head, sighing. “It’s going to take longer than just a few more weeks.”
She was silent as my words sank in.
“It’s going to take a lot longer than we originally thought, and I didn’t tell you because, well, to be honest, I didn’t want you to leave or sign the job off to someone else.”
“How long?” she rasped.
It took longer than it should have for me to answer. “More like a few more months. Maybe two or three.”
