AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’re not?”
She knew he was teasing, but she was serious. Even she hadn’t been fully convinced that she would be able to let go of her need for control, but the last few days had proved otherwise.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Amber laughed.
“What? I’m a good listener,” Declan protested.
“I know you are. And yes, I’d like to talk about it, but I really don’t know what more to say. I’m in the middle of Saskatchewan right now.”
“Saskatchewan?”
“Right? I know, it’s crazy. My best friend Josie is flipping a house in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere, so I came for a little visit. After that, I don’t know. A few days ago, I would have said that I’d take a job and start my life as an accountant.”
“But now?”
“Now I don’t really know.” It was a truthful answer, but it hurt her heart a little to say it out loud. “I mean, I guess Idoknow,” she added quickly. “I will take a job at some point, but I’m just being silly because I know that’s what I’m going to do but they didn’t offer me the job the way I thought they would.”
“They still might.”
He was right and she knew it. “They might. In fact, I really do think they will.” She took a deep breath. “But when they didn’t, it kind of threw me for a loop and I got to thinking that maybe there was more.”
“More?”
She shrugged. “Like what you have.” Amber hadn’t even realized until that moment that her brother did have a lot of what she was looking for. “You travel and do new things. You don’t have every minute planned out. You just kind of…live.”
“Amber.” There was so much kindness and love in his voice that it made Amber even more emotional. “You know there isn’t one right way to live, right? You’re not doing it wrong.”
“I know, I know.” She said the words, but as she did, she shook her head as if she didn’t fully believe them. “I just had this crazy idea that maybe I could…I don’t know.”
“What? What do you want to do?”
“That’s just it.” The emotion built until finally Amber felt like crying. Shenevercried. “I don’t even know, Dec. I just know I don’t want to be boring anymore.”
“Oh Amber, you’re not boring. You’re fantastic.” There was nothing disingenuous about what he said; she knew he thought the world of her, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
“You have to say that because you’re my brother.” She walked across the grass, enjoying the crunch of the thin layer of snow they did have under her shoes. She inhaled deeply, wrapped her sweater tighter, and tried to let the peacefulness of the morning wash through her.
“That’s not true. I get to say whatever I want because I’m your brother.” He laughed again, and this time the sound made her want to hug him. “So I’m going to say this,” he continued. “You aren’t boring. I would never think that of you. But I do know that even the most exciting people sometimes feel like they’re in a rut. So if you’re feeling stuck, for whatever reason, shake it up. Your life is totally up to you, Amber. You can be and do anything you want to do. It’s your life. So live it the way you want.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Amber turned back toward the house and caught a glimpse of Cole through the window.
“It really is. I promise you,” he said. “You might think that there’s a lot weighing on what you decide to do, but mostly we build things up in our head. And really, the world will not collapse if you decide to do something different than you originally planned. If you don’t want to take an accounting job right now, don’t. Maybe it is time for you to try something new. Go travel, see the world. Meet new people. Do something that makes your heart sing. We have one life. It doesn’t have to be hard.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure, Amber. Honestly. We’re allowed to change our minds. Whenever we want.”
Change our minds.
Live life the way you want?
Could it really be as easy as Declan seemed to think it was?
On the other end of the line, Amber heard someone calling for Declan. There was some mumbling and then her brother came back on the line. “Amber, I gotta go. But I’m serious…this is your life. Follow your heart.”
“Okay.”
