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“I agree with you that her choices are coming from her. She’s a strong woman and I can’t imagine she’s one to make any major decision on a whim. But I also think that a whole lot of what’s going on in her head has to do with you.” He grinned. “So, my question to you is one that I think all of my brothers have wanted to ask you.” Mitch paused, his hand on a log. “Do you love her?”
Whatever he thought Mitch was going to ask him, Cole hadn’t been prepared for that. He stumbled over his words, coughed and choked and, finally, before he could utter a word, Mitch stopped him.
“It’s not me you need to answer that question for,” he said. “It’s Amber. I think you’re a good guy, Cole. I do. And I would welcome you into our family without hesitation. But there’s one thing that I would ask of you. If you don’t love her, totally and completely, tell her before she makes any more life-altering decisions that may or may not have anything to do with you, okay?”
He was stunned, but the other man’s words sank in and permeated his consciousness. Somehow, he managed a nod that seemed to satisfy Mitch.
“Good.” He clapped his gloved hands together and scooped up the small stack of wood he’d prepared. “We should get back in there.”
A moment later, Cole was alone in the dark, staring at the woodpile and trying to process what had just happened. Why hadn’t he answered Mitch with ahell yesthe moment he’d asked? More importantly, why hadn’t he told Amber? After all, she was the only one who really deserved to hear how he felt.
Amber tooka moment to make sure her eyes weren’t red from the tears, and after finishing her glass of wine, the women rejoined the party in the living room.
Cole and Mitch were missing, but before Amber could ask, Jade told her they’d gone to get firewood. She pretended not to notice the stack of wood in the basket next to the hearth and simply smiled. She did her best to avoid Declan’s eye contact when he asked for volunteers to sing “Joy to the World,” and moments before he pulled her up to join him, Gwen—thank God—cried mercy and everyone abandoned the idea of singing altogether, opting instead to enjoy their cocktails and share stories.
Mitch returned alone with the firewood, but Cole still hadn’t reappeared when Amber managed to excuse herself. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enjoying herself with her family, because she was. But she couldn’t shake the questions that her conversation with Maureen had left her with. She grabbed her coat from the closet and slipped outside to get some fresh air.
The night was cool, but not too cold. She walked around the side of the house where she could see the expanse of the frozen lake and the full moon reflected off the ice. There was very little light and the stars filled the night sky. She inhaled deeply and allowed her head to drop back so she could stare at the millions of constellations above her.
What would the stars look like on the other side of the world?
The thought made her inexplicably sad, because in her heart she knew she’d never find out. She’d never stand next to Cole, looking up at the Australian night sky. Because in her heart, Amber knew that it wasn’t fair to ask more of him than he was willing to give. He wanted a free life, and despite the changes she’d made, she knew she couldn’t changethatmuch. Nor did she want to.
The realization caused a physical ache in her chest because shedidlove Cole. Letting him go would be the hardest thing she’d ever done. But it was the right thing to do because sometimes, love just couldn’t be enough.
The thought filled her with sadness, but also a sense of peace because she’d made the decision that had been troubling her since they’d arrived in Cedar Springs.
She squeezed her eyes shut and released a long, deep breath as her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Tempted to ignore it, Amber continued to stare at the night sky, but finally curiosity got the best of her and she looked at the illuminated screen. And she was glad she did.
“Josie,” she said into the phone. “I’m so glad to hear your voice right now.”
Her best friend picked up immediately on the conflict in Amber’s voice. “What’s wrong? You sound…different. What’s going on?”
She debated for a moment about not telling her the truth, but what was the point? Josie was her best friend, and she was going to hear about it sooner or later anyway. “I think I need to stay in Cedar Springs.”
“Really?” Josie sounded surprised, but pleased. “So, it’s going well with your family? That’s great news.”
It was. But it wasn’tallgreat news.
“And Cole?” Josie continued. “That’s a big change for him. I mean, a small town? Wow. But hey, I guess you can never underestimate—”
“He doesn’t know.”
“Know what?”
Amber took a deep breath. “He doesn’t know that I’ve decided to stay.”
There was silence on the other end while her friend processed what she’d said.
“I mean,” Amber continued to fill the silence. “I only just made the decision myself. I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. And I thought that maybe I’d just wait until after Christmas. After all, what’s the point of creating a big—”
“Amber?”
She swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut, as if Josie were right in front of her. “Yes.”
“What happened?” Josie asked the question quietly, but the words slammed into her. “I mean, you two seemed so happy and so determined to face what happened next together. What went…well…I mean…what happened?”
“Nothing,” Amber answered honestly. “And everything.”
