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Except I don't feel satisfied right now. Just sick.

“…I just truly think he and those kids deserve another shot,” I say. “It’s only the first offense. I think he truly didn't know about the rules. Believe me, he even called me and apologized after you let him know, and he was super embarrassed about the whole thing.”

She sighs. “Yes, I understand that, but unfortunately my hands are tied here. Ignorance of the rules is not an excuse. He was their coach. And believe me, no one feels more sympathy than I do for the other children, but it might comfort you to know that quite a few of them are about to age out of it anyway. At least they get to end on a high note with their last win."

Yes. I know about the aging out process. Pee Wee league is only from the ages nine to twelve. A few members of my team are also aging out this year and that's part of the reason we're trying so hard to do well.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to me.

“Hang on, the ban doesn’t prevent the kids from joining other teams, does it?”

"Of course not,” Grace says. “The children aren’t to blame here, the coach is. And the parents of course to a lesser extent. Luke won’t be able to coach again, but the children are free to join other teams if they wish."

“Alright, understood.” I hang up after thanking her for talking to me, as the idea formulates in my head. It’ll be risky and need a lot of work, for it to even have any hope of working out.

But it’s worth a shot.

I call James first, to discuss it with him. I explain to him, very briefly, what I plan to do and although he’s reluctant at first, I work to convince him.

“Those kids aren’t at fault James,” I say.

“I know it’s just…" I can hear both the guilt and caution in James' voice too. “This could break up our team too. I don’t see this working out well in the long run.

"It will," I assure him. "I’ll make sure of it."

"I’ll need to think about it,” he says, and I nod. He asks me to give him the evening to mull it over and I agree.

In the meantime, I feel restless, so I get started cooking dinner. I decide to also make a batch of chocolate chip cookies for dessert, to ease our sudden transition into staying here for a little. Not that I really need to ease it over. Chase is having the time of his life and hasn’t left Luke alone for more than a second since we got here.

Even now, I can see them outside. Luke is teaching Chase a hockey stance, carefully adjusting his body to the correct shape.

Something resembling guilt pricks in my heart when I see them together, but I brush it away before the thought can formulate.

As I get started on the baking, I hear a sound behind me. I turn around to see Mikey standing there, hesitating at the door.

“Hey precious,” I say kneeling. “Did you need something? Water?”

He hesitates and then shakes his head.

“Are you hungry?”

Another shake.

“Um..ok? Did you want me to get your dad.?”

A line of frustration appears in his head with another shake, and I giggle.

“You know this would be a little easier if you could show me what you want instead of letting me guess.”

He glances up briefly, not at my eyes but maybe at my forehead, and then shuffles forward. Then he stands beside me glancing to the countertop.

I blink at him, the thought slow to enter. “Wait, you want to help me?”

He goes right to the sink and starts washing his hands. I guess that means he wants to help, then.

“Um ok sure,” I stare, bewildered at him. Chase used to sometimes help me bake, when he was young, but it was mostly because he liked to swipe some batter when I wasn't looking.

But Mikey...I'm not sure what this is.

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