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Dirty.
Whore.
Slut.
Puppet.
Broken.
I tried to fight, scream, and beg them to stop, but it didn’t work. It didn’t stop them from taking pieces of me. Each fucking, each slap, each dirty whisper into my ear took away my innocence, took away me, and now I am nothing more than a used fucking doll. A doll that can only lay here and take it. A doll that does as she is told, a doll that fucking submits because, honestly, there is nothing left to do.
The men come in, get off, and force me to scream, cry, and beg. They leave and return to their wife and kids, their careers, and I am still here, chained to this bed, still hoping my father will come for me, still wishing for something that will never fucking happen. I have been shown that I am nothing important, that no one is fucking looking for me. The only person I matter to is my puppet master. He is trying to mold me into the puppet he needs. My mind is starting to give in, and my body already has, reminding me to take it like a good fucking puppet. My heart and soul are shattered. Sebastian is finally getting what he always wanted. He wanted me to believe his lies, but they are no longer lies. They are, in fact, the truth.
When I look down at my body, I see the cuts, bruises, and cum, reminding me how disgusting and filthy I am. No wonder why my father gave me to Sebastian. I don’t blame him anymore; just fucking look at me. If I were your daughter, you would throw me away like fucking trash too. I am forever branded, the carvings on my thighs reminding me exactly what and who I am.
Was it always going to be this way for me?
Did I do something to deserve this?
Did I do something so fucking horrible that now I am just a dirty fucking puppet that I am only good for being used and abused by strange men?
I open my eyes and look up at the same dirty ceiling when I hear the door open and close. Screams don’t leave my mouth anymore, they never helped me anyways, it just made things fucking worse. My body doesn’t struggle anymore; it is not worth losing what bit of energy I have. The tears no longer leave my eyes because nothing is left to cry about. What Sebastian is going to do to me, he is going to do, and what those men are going to do to me, they are going to do. The tears don’t fucking change shit.
My body is completely numb, and my mind is fucking distant. My body and mind no longer respond to Sebastian anymore; he can do whatever the fuck he wants. My mouth doesn’t open to answer the men’s question. They beat me, fuck me, use me, abuse me. It is a never-ending cycle that I have finally accepted as my life. This is my life, and nothing is going to change that fact. There is no reason to fight it anymore. This basement will be my fucking grave, and this is where I will die. There is no reason to act differently.
My body remains still as Sebastian fucks and kisses me. I stay still when he whispers that he loves me and fills my pussy with his disgusting seed. My mind, heart, and soul pray for fucking death, a death that will never come, not until Sebastian is done with me. Even death has fucking abandoned me.
I know I have been here for three years. Do you know how I know that? On the year anniversary of my kidnapping, it is my birthday, and I know it is my birthday because of how Sebastian walks into the room. On my birthday, he says he wants to make love to me because I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to him.
He is gentle as he fucks me, as he chips another part of me away. This year is no different for him, but it is for me. I have nothing left. He has taken it all from me. I have nothing left but this empty shell I call my body. My heart is broken, my soul is shattered, and my body, well, it is only good for being a pleasure vessel used to get others off.
“Happy Birthday, Puppet,” Sebastian says in a calm and gentle voice.
I slowly look down, and past him towards the door he walked in from. I learned to put my eyes on one thing as Sebastian and the others fuck me. It helps me to escape them. It helps me not to feel whatever they are doing to me. So today, on my birthday, I will look at the door that has let so many men into this room that I’ve lost count. This door has allowed mean, horrible, disgusting men in here to do whatever they want to me. The door I will never get to leave out of, the door that holds my freedom, the freedom I will never see.
There are so many things that I have and will miss out on.
I will never get to go to prom.
I will never get my license, even though I studied for a year and knew I would pass.
I will never get to finish high school even though I know I would have never been valedictorian or anything, but aren’t you supposed to finish high school? That is one of the main goals in life, right? They say your high school years are supposed to be the best of your life; maybe that is true for others, but not for me.
I will never be able to apply for college.
I will never feel that excitement and nervousness when you are waiting to see if you get in or not.
I will never get a job and make my own money or get my own place and make it my own.
I will never get to do or experience any of those things. The only thing I get to do is lay here in this fucking room on this dirty cum stained mattress and hope and pray I don’t have the energy to wake up the following day. I guess, in the end, this is what whores like me get. This is what girls get when they are broken and dirty.
My brain, body, soul, and heart know I will die in this room. I will die, and no one will remember me or even care that I am gone because for three years, I was taken, and no one cared or noticed. Not even the people supposed to love me the most and protect me.
No one will care when I die because…
I amDirty.
I am aWhore.
