Page 22 of Silent Tears


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The questions run over and over again inside of my head, making me scream out again. Christian’s heartbeat continues to race against my back as his entire body is intertwined with mine. He wants to take this from me. He wants to experience this with me?

Why?

I am nothing. Nothing at all, but a broken young woman that has no future, no future. Sebastian and the men didn’t kill me, but that doesn’t mean I am not dead inside because I am.

Empty.

Ugly.

Disgusting.

Their jizz everywhere, fucking everywhere.

The smells, the taste of them, of him, the puppet master.

My heart sinks as my breathing continues to increase. Christian again tightens his arms around me, his fire skin burning through my skin, the sweatshirt that is now soaked. The lightning and thunder take over the sky. The sky is as unhinged as I am, as pained as I am. There has to be a way out; there has to be a way to make this fucking go away.

Death didn’t want me in that basement. I get it; even death turned away from me, but now I am out, maybe just maybe he will take me now. Maybe, just maybe, he will not turn me away but take my hand and lead me into a new kind of darkness. Maybe this darkness will consume me, shape me into something else, anything else.

22

Christian

Nicole continued to rock us back and forth; her pain radiated off of her in waves. This type of pain I have felt before. Pain like this has consumed me once before. The morning I found out my mother was missing.

15 Years Ago

I push open my Padre’s office doors. I waste no time making my way around his desk, my breathing is unstable, and my heart is racing so fucking fast I think I might pass out. He sits back in his chair and looks up at me, his eyes searching mine. There is no love in his eyes, no remorse or regret for anything he has done. I am becoming who I am because of this man sitting in front of me.

“Where the fuck is she?” I ask, hearing the rage and fear in my voice

He continues to search my eyes. There is no fear in his eyes, no rage. He is fucking calm, way too fucking calm.

“Who?” He asks in a curious and dark voice.

He knows who the fuck I am talking about. He has always played fucking games, and over the years, he has gotten pretty fucking good at them. He uses people’s emotions and weaknesses against them, and he fucking knows that she is mine.

“Don’t fucking play games with me,” I scream.

He takes a deep breath, his eyes staying on me. “Your Madre is missing Figlio,” he whispers. My heart sinks, it stops, it fucking shatters. She was here; she was fucking here last night. I watched her go into her room and shut the door.

“What?” I ask, the pain and grief already starting to take me over

“She was taken last night because of who we are, because of who I am,” he states softly.

He is a liar. I know he is lying. He and my Madre haven’t been getting along because my Padre has been fucking other women, and she found out. She has threatened to leave him and take me and everything else he has built, and I know my Padre would never fucking let that happen.

“I don’t fucking believe you,” I snap at him. He forgets that he has trained me; he has created me. I can see through his fucking bullshit, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“Believe what you must, Figlio, but it is the truth,” he responds calmly. He actually fucking believes the bullshit coming out of his mouth.

I quickly turn around and walk around his desk towards the open doors.

“Where do you think you are going?” He snaps behind me

My lungs fill with air as I try to calm my racing heart. “I am going to go find her,” I snap back. He isn’t going to go fucking look for her, not if he is the reason she has gone missing.

“No, you are not,” he replies with confidence.

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