Page 36 of Silent Tears


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Christian is only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants that hang on his hips, showcasing his perfect fucking V that dips out of sight. He makes my mouth water, everything about him is fucking intoxicating and intense. He pushes off the door frame, and I watch him step over anything that lays in his path to get to me, but the voices, so many fucking voices.

Dirty, dirty, you dirty fucking bitch.

Christian stops in front of me as I turn and lift the knife. I scream as I go to stab him in the chest, but he grabs onto my wrist, forcing me to drop the knife.

“You want to kill me, Bambino?” He asks in a low, gentle voice, making me ache inside.

I shake my head as more tears escape and roll down my face. “No, Christian, I want you to kill me,” I confess confidently. My knees go weak with my confession. I can’t fucking do it myself, but maybe he can. Perhaps he has finally fucking had enough. I know I am too much. I am disgusting and gross and fucking broken. Maybe I have finally pushed him over his edge of wanting me.

He takes a deep breath. “That is never going to fucking happen. Do you hear me?” He says firmly. More tears escape and roll down my face as he grabs onto my throat and pulls me into his naked chest. He smashes his lips against mine. I open my mouth for him and drop the knife. I need him. I want him.

I need him like I need air in my lungs.

I need him like I need blood in my veins.

He has been so fucking patient and painfully fucking gentle and understanding of the chaos I am inflicting on his life and his things. He shouldn’t want me. They said no one would ever want me, but now I see it. Now I finally fucking see him. He does love me.

I pull back, breaking the kiss. Christian continues to look into my eyes as he releases his hold on my throat. I pull off my tank top, lean down, pull down my shorts, and kick them to the side. I stand up straight in front of him, and his eyes roam over my body, making me shiver under his hooded gaze.

He doesn’t turn away from me. I don’t see any disgust in his eyes as I watch him take a deep breath. He walks into me and reaches down, grabbing onto my legs. He lifts me, and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I can feel my pussy pulsing against his muscular body.

He leans in and reconnects his lips to mine as he turns around and leaves the destroyed kitchen. I don’t need to pull away to know where he is going. He already got a new bed and sheets. Not once did he make me feel ashamed or feel guilty for what happened. He is understanding to the point that it fucking hurts, but I am learning this is who he is with me, and only with me.

34

Christian

The kiss deepens as I make my way into the bedroom. She is wrapped tightly around me as I bring us to the bed. I lower her down onto the bed. She releases her hold on me as I pull back, breaking the kiss. I stand up and look over her naked, perfect body. Sebastian and those men made her feel guilty, ashamed, and all kinds of other emotions. They used sex to torture her and bring her worst nightmares to life. I am going to show her that I will use sex to worship her in every way humanly possible.

“Lay down in the middle of the bed,” I whisper as my heart starts to race. I set up the chains about 30 minutes ago before what happened in the kitchen. It was always my plan to claim her tonight as mine, and it was always my plan to worship her, but I can see she needs it now.

I will show her how giving me control gives her control.

I will show her how giving me power gives her power.

Nicole and I are one. Equals. But inside this house, she will be my whore, my queen, my everything. I will show her how being my whore is different, how being my slut is different. She will understand after tonight that I love her and need her more than I need anything else. She nods and crawls her way up the bed.

“Lay down on your back,” I demand through gritted teeth. Tonight, I need to be gentle and lock away my mostro so I can worship her the way that she has always deserved to be worshipped. I can do this for her; tonight, I can be gentle for her and only for her.

She does as I ask, just like I knew she would. She takes a deep, shaky breath as she lays down, her eyes locked on me as I make my way to the end of the bed. I take her right ankle and secure it in the chain. I go to her left ankle and repeat the process. I quickly make my way up to her left wrist and secure it, and then I lean over her and do the same to her right wrist, making sure she can’t get away from me. They are not too tight to where it will hurt her. Tonight is about her, all about her and pleasuring her, and my intention is not to scare or harm her.

Her fear of chains, of sex, is something that I need to fucking break. I need her to see me for me and not see me as them. I look down at her, her scars, her still-healing bruises and cuts. I look down at her wrist and see her fresh cut. She was thinking about ending her life, but in the end, she chose to live. She said she wanted me to kill her, but I will never do that, I fucking can’t.

I can’t because I can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist: If she dies, I die.

“Those men and Sebastian used sex to torture you, bambino. I am going to use sex to worship you,” I whisper, watching her breathing increase. She is scared, the voices are so fucking loud in her head, and my goal is to silence them. My goal is to show her there is nothing to be afraid of when she is with me. She is safe, and I will always protect her, and I will always fucking put her first. I don’t know how to love her any other way.

She doesn’t say a word as I make my way back down to the end of the bed. Removing my sweatpants, I crawl onto the bed. She is spread wide open for me, making me groan. She is a fucking sight to behold, she has no fucking idea how Bellissimo she is, but she will. I will help her understand that when I look at her, I see a fucking queen.

I lean down and gently kiss her left leg as I continue to move up her body, making my way to her inner thigh. She stiffens, and a whimper leaves her when I gently kiss her brandings. I lick and nip, showing her that she is not disgusting, showing her that I desire her in every fucking way.

She moans as I lick a direct path toward her pussy. I wrap my left hand around her throat and rest my right hand on her stomach as I continue gently licking between her folds and tasting her. She tastes so fucking good. She is already wet as fuck, making me smile as I push my tongue into her pulsing pussy. She tries arching her back, but I push her back onto the bed. She moans as her pussy wraps around my tongue.

I press a kiss to her pussy one last time before I move on top of her. I tighten my grip around her throat, her blue eyes staring right into my fractured soul. I grab onto my dick, placing the head at her pink wet pussy’s entrance. “In this room, you are my whore, my slut, my queen. Out there, you are my equal, understand?” I say through gritted teeth.

“Yes,” she whispers.

I lean down and smash my lips to hers as I push forward, pushing my dick into her pussy. My dick slides right into her like her pussy was fucking made for me. She moans into my mouth, making me groan into hers as I start to move my hips, pushing my dick in and out of her. Her walls wrap tightly around my dick as I pick up my pace.

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