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I finally place the knife on the table. Michael’s body is limp, his head is turned to the side, and blood is flowing from his eyes, nose, and mouth. I look over his open and exposed chest. The room is silent as I turn and walk around the table, exiting the room. I am covered in a coward’s blood, a man that was supposed to protect me, protect Nicole. I don’t know why I couldn’t fucking see him for who he was. Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see, and it almost cost me her.
I feel someone grab onto the back of my shirt as the elevator opens, and I walk inside. Nicole releases my shirt as I slowly turn around and wrap my arms around her, pulling her firmly against my body. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests the side of her face against my chest. I rest my chin on her head as my heart continues to race.
It isn’t racing because I just fucking cut one of my men open. No. It is racing because something could have happened to Nicole because of Michael, and I would never fucking forgive myself if something had happened to her. I tighten my arms around Nicole; her heart is beating as fast as mine. “I need you, Christian,” she whispers. I release my grip on her and grab onto her arms, forcing her to pull back. My hands, chest, neck, and face are covered in Michael’s blood.
She looks up at me, searches my eyes, and releases her hold on me. She bends down as I keep my hands on her arms. She pulls down her leggings and underwear and slowly takes them off. She steps out of her sandals.
“Nicolette,” I whisper as she steps into me. She quickly unbuttons my pants and pulls my cock from the confines of my boxers.
Fuck it.
I release her arms and walk into her, forcing her to move back until her back hits the wall. I lift her up by her waist, and she wraps her legs around my waist, pressing my hard cock between her slick folds. She reaches between us, slides me to her entrance, and sinks down on my dick until I am balls deep inside of her. She keeps her eyes locked on mine as we both moan at the feeling of her tight pussy stretching around me. I wrap my fingers around her throat, and she lets her head fall back against the wall as I start to thrust up into her. I tighten my grip slightly, bringing my mouth to hers. She immediately opens for me, our tongues exploring as I tighten my grip on her ass so I can move her up and down my throbbing cock. The sounds of her wet pussy and slapping skin echo around us as we find a rhythm that has us both chasing our release. Her pussy squeezes my cock like a vice as she shouts out my name, making me groan and coat the inside of her pussy with my seed.
She didn’t turn away from me. She didn’t look at me with disgust because I was covered in another man’s blood. Fuck no, she looked at me and said she needed me. She knows what those words mean to me.
Anyone can fucking say I love you, and honestly, it is used too fucking loosely. What I feel for her is deeper than love. It is a need to survive with her. She is my reason for breathing. She is my salvation.
53
Nicole
“When you love someone, there is nothing that is wrong.”
Christian slowly leads me up the steps and into the jet. My stomach has been in knots all day. Last night was fascinating, terrifying, and a fucking turn-on. There is nothing this man won’t do for me, which is a turn-on and completely fucking scares me but in the best possible way. I am learning that there is nothing I won’t do for him either.
We are both fucking unhinged, jealous, possessive, and completely out of control, but when we are together, the world seems to stop, and everything seems to make sense, which still makes my head fucking spin.
Ordinary people would be scared and would have run out screaming with what happened last night, but not me. I am not normal, and neither is Christian. In the park a while back, I asked him if he thought it was possible for me to have a normal life with him, a happy, normal life. I am now able to answer my own question. Can I have a happy life with Christian by my side even though there is so much pain and rage within me? The answer is yes I can because he makes it possible for me to be able to. He understands me, doesn’t judge me, and wants to walk beside me. Now, can I have a normal life with him by my side? The answer is no, we can’t. But that is because we aren’t normal, and I don’t want to be, not now that I have him.
He has proven in every way possible that I do, in fact, have him. When he asked me to marry him, and he put a ring on my finger, that was his way of showing me, once again, that I am the center of his world. I feel guilty as fuck and ashamed that I ran away, that even a tiny part of me would believe Michael and his words, and even though I am doing better with what I have gone through, it still affects me. The voices are still there, and I still feel myself stiffen sometimes. I still feel myself withdrawing, but Christian is right fucking there to make sure that I don’t go away, he is right fucking there to remind me that I am safe, and I know that I am.
His world is scary, filled with drugs, violence, and murder, but honestly, I have never felt more safe than I do when I am by his side. With him, I know that I will always be safe, and if I am not, he will get vengeance and will always make sure to find me, protect me, and remind me that I am his, and he is mine.
“Bambino,” he whispers, resting his hand on my knee. The way he fucking says, Baby is the sexiest and most dangerous thing I have ever heard in my life. Only he can make me feel this way. Only he can make me wet and ready for him with one word.
I slowly look around, fuck my head is an endless hole sometimes. We are already sitting in the jet, and I reach out my hand and rest it on top of his. His voice brought me out of my head again, but my thoughts were good this time. My thoughts were safe and warm this time because he entirely consumed them. I turn my head and look at him.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly, tilting his head to the side.
He looks right into my broken soul that he has put back together again.
I nod and smile. “Yes.”
“What are you thinking about?” He asks, searching my eyes. I can see the worry in his eyes, but this time, it is not the men’s or Sebastian’s voice taking me away; this time, it is just him.
“You, us,” I whisper.
He leans in and gently kisses the side of my head. I can’t help but lean into him; his smell, his touch, all of it fucking drives me insane. I hope this feeling never goes away. He rests his forehead against the side of my head. “What about us?” He asks calmly.
My heart starts to race; even after everything, he still makes me nervous, filling my stomach with butterflies. “That I love you, that I need you,” I reply, needing him to know that this time I am okay and that I am not in the dark place of my mind.
“You have me, Bambino, always and forever. Even in death, I am yours,”he whispers as he pulls back, locking his eyes with mine. We both lean in, connecting our lips, and a moan escapes my mouth. I can’t fucking help it.
He groans against my lips, making me smile against his. I pull back and lock my eyes on him.
“Careful, Bambino,” he warns darkly.
Which makes me want to test him and push him. There is something about him that makes me want to push all the fucking limits and break whatever rules are in front of me. I lean in, my lips almost touching his, and his eyes rapidly search mine. “Fuck me the way you want to fuck me, babe,” I whisper, pulling back and sitting back in my seat.
