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So she was right in the end, it was him, and he was possibly going to get asked about the girlfriend nobody knows about.
Even if I hate TestME I’ll protect them at all costs now, because we’re in it together, and I know what it’s like to lose and to love and to know you’ll never have it, so if he does, I’ll cover for him. maybe I went through my hell to help him through his.
Maybe that’s all Ari is. A lesson. A lesson or a test or a fucking albatross to help me help others.
Maybe I’m on this show for a reason.
Maybe I’ve been falling for so long I forgot what it was like to fly.
I smile.
Maybe I go bad after being so good.
Sounds nice.
Chapter Eleven
Ari
Well, that was the worst experience of my life.
Scratch that.
Not experience, because I was in no way participating in any of that crap I was forced to watch… no, I was just a voyeur like the rest of them, peeking in… creeping in and having my heart broken when I saw the genuine connection Sookie had with that fan of his. No, she wasn’t crazy.
She seemed sweet.
God.
She seems sweet.
Like the kind of girl I’d want my brother to end up with, even though she’s a super fan. But not Sookie.
Never Sookie.
Watching them is painful to the point of no return. I don’t even know what to do. He looks genuinely happy getting in that black van, like that was a real smile on his face… something I rarely ever get to see. I think I’m going to be sick. What’s worse? She’d be perfect for him… this girl who has this sweet smile and is probably a sweetheart to match, and now he also has his ex in the van. God. Talk about torture. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this crap situation. I don’t know how things could actually get better at this point.
Emotionally I’m dying inside.
On the outside I’m prim and proper, doing my job, all business. I’m the type A Ari that Simon oh so pointed out earlier in the day. But on the inside…
I’m dying. I’m crumbling. All I want is to get to my apartment, close the door, get in a bath and cry my eyes out. Why can’t I be there right now?
And then, as my emotions get the best of me I walk up to the van, my heels digging into the grass nearly making me fall as I think about the Maknae of the group. Who wouldn’t fall for Sookie?
Who?
“You doing all right?” Producer Sung-Bin walks up to me and grabs ahold of my arm just as the doors start to close to the van. He pulls me against his body right before my left heel gets caught and I trip into him. I look back to see Sookie’s usual pale face replaced by a smirk—an angry one that says he came to play and will absolutely wreck the world.
It’s sexy.
Oh my god, is it sexy. Like he’s all grown up even more kind of sexy. My cheeks flush, my body tingles and I’m suddenly thinking about kissing him.
Crap.
I feel guilty.
And I’m without a shoe. I’m officially a mess.
