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“THIS!” He pumps the air with his fist and throws the pencil down onto the table. “I’m a genius!”
“Apparently I no longer need Sookie, because this guy’s”—Rae sighs—“a certified genius.”
“Look!” Eric completely ignores us and shoves a piece of paper in front of Rae. “I changed the lyrics at the end and added a bridge, plus altered the rap section for Lucas a bit since he can rap so fast. Damn.”
He’s proud of himself but is it actually good?
I swipe the paper from his hands before Rae can read it and start going over the lyrics. They’re good, like really good, he took some of the bridge out but it works better, it seems like it will flow more.
I hand the paper to Rae. “It’s stunningly good.” I turn to Eric. “Why don’t you write your own music?”
Eric blinks and then looks down at the ground. “I just never thought it was good enough, not compared to what you guys produce.”
“Listen.” Rae drops the paper onto the table and grips Eric by the shoulders. “Everyone has to start somewhere, you can’t just walk through life afraid.” He turns to me. “I mean look at Sookie, he’s been in this business since he was a kid and he’s started to grow with his writing and even his rapping, you can’t just fear failure.”
Eric is quiet for a while, he adjusts the black beanie on his head while Rae’s hands drop from his shoulders. “Right, but, I have to get approval.”
“From the label, well of course.” Rae says.
Eric shakes his head. “No, um, from Suho, and he says none of the songs are strong enough yet so I just, stockpile them.”
“Bro,” I butt in. “How many songs have you written?”
He gulps. “Two hundred.”
Rae flops into his chair and groans. “Seriously?”
Eric shrugs. “I mean, I can play one for you, at least you’ll be honest about your hatred right?”
He reaches for one of the guitars hanging in the studio and sits down, it’s an acoustic Gibson and starts to strum, his fingers going into complete default mode as if he’s done this a thousand times rather than sing and dance in front of everyone.
The tune’s sad, it’s slow in a way that makes you think someone died while writing. When he starts singing my jaw drops.
“Wanna be known, wanna be seen, wanna be crowned King, they tell us all we have to do is everything, give up for nothing, fight for the wrong reasons, but we all know that K-pop comes in seasons, fourth gen, fifth, sixth, one day we’ll be forgotten, lost and, struck from records, no matter how hard we fight, we know in the end, you actually die.”
Rae coughs into his hand. “Got dark fast.”
“Yeah.” I agree. “But it’s really good.”
“Hop in.” Rae motions for Eric to go to the booth. “Let’s record the guitar first and then we’ll add in the drums, I’ll play around with it a bit, then you can sing the first verse. Who do you want as the main rapper on it?”
“Seriously?” He jumps to his feet. “I mean are you serious?”
“No, I’m trying to break your soul.” Rae jokes. “Yeah, I’m serious, we still have time to lay down some track, but you’ll need a main rapper should I go get—”
“I’ll do it.” I pipe up.
Both of them stare at me like I’ve just managed to cure the common cold and world hunger, I mean I know I don’t rap often but this would be fun plus I really need to get into Rae’s good graces before I break the news to him.
Because I have to tell him.
I can’t just sleep with his sister, be in love with her, and not say something. I know I need to come clean, but I need courage and right now, spending time with him, might help me gain that courage, plus, I’ve always wanted to be the main rapper on an album, the only problem is the image I have isn’t main rapper, they don’t want that out of me, they want me to sing and make girls blush because I’m so cute.
It’s time for a change.
And it’s not even because I was just naked on the ground only a few doors away from him, with his sister, with the love of my life—I’m just feeling like it’s time.
“Okay.” Eric nods. “I mean I’ve never heard you rap but let’s try it.”
