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“Because you don’t know what happens after?”
“Yes and no. The unknown is scary, of course. But I think one of the hardest parts about being sick is how much it’s affecting the people around me. Maybe if I’d had a fulfilling life, it’d be easier for everyone to cope. They’d be ready to let me go.I’dbe ready to go. But I’m not. There are so many things I wanted to do, and when I think about leaving my family and the unfinished goals behind, it breaks my heart in a way I can’t even describe.”
Looking back at Ellister, I find him watching me. I’m getting accustomed to his intensity, and the way he stares at me like I might disappear at any second.
Lightly touching his bottom lip, I whisper, “Do you want to know what I’m most afraid of in this very moment?”
“What?”
“Never being able to kiss you ever again.”
“Here.” He swoops in for a quick peck. “See? I already fixed it.”
I smile a little. “I’m still scared.”
“Then I’ll do it again.”
He does. He kisses me over and over.
We get lost in each other, consumed by taste and touch.
By the time we part, I’ve forgotten what our conversation was about. My lips are warm and swollen from making out. My body is alive with vibrations ricocheting from my fingernails, along my skin, to the roots of my hair on my scalp.
I’m calm, relaxed, and incredibly horny.
As Ellister soothingly combs his fingers through my hair, I yawn.
“Tired, darling?” he asks, already sounding far away because I’m drifting off.
I close my eyes and nod.
“Sleep.” After placing one more kiss on my forehead, Ellister pulls me close, and I slip into a dreamless slumber.
It feels like I’ve only been out for a minute, but when I wake, the end credits of the movie are rolling, and headlights flash as cars drive away.
Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and look down at Ellister.
He’s asleep, too, and the kittens have found us. They’re all curled up on his chest.
I stare at the touching scene for a good minute or two.
During sleep, Ellister’s face is relaxed and free of worry. The stocking cap that seems to be a permanent fixture on his head is slightly crooked, so I reach out to pull it back into place.
Just as I’m tugging it further down on his ears, he startles and grabs my wrist.
“What are you—?” His voice is hard at first, but he ends on a hushed note because he notices his little friends taking a nap. “—doing?”
“Just making sure you’re comfortable.”
Confused, his eyebrows draw together. “I shouldn’t have slept. We should get you home.”
The thought of going separate ways makes my stomach lurch. I don’t want Ellister to go back to his cabin. I don’t want to go back to mine.
“What if…” I take a second to gather some courage. “What if we stayed?”
Still lying down, he idly strokes the kittens. “Here?”
“Yeah.” Thinking he’s going to say no, I motion to the makeshift bed. “Look how comfy this is. It’s not like I haven’t spent the night in the machine shed before.”
