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“Kai, you went above and beyond for me,” I console him as I join his side. “You know that, right?”
He turns his head toward one of the walkways so I can’t read his expression. “Yes.”
“Do you believe me when I tell you it’s enough? More than enough?”
“Yes.”
His short replies are maddening, so I decide to ask a more elaborate question. “How do you feel about winning the first challenge?”
“Victorious,” he answers flatly.
So this is where we are. After everything, all he’ll give me is one-word answers and the cold shoulder.
I want to pester him about it, ask him what the hell is going on, but I’m afraid of the response I’ll get.
If I push him for more, he’ll probably do that thing people do when they speak to a queen.
The impersonal politeness would be infuriating coming from him. I don’t want sugarcoated words. I want something real.
I thought that’s what Kai and I had—a genuine connection.
When he walks forward, he holds out his arm, but it’s not an invitation for me to touch him. He’s simply motioning to the spot beside him where he can protect me the best.
As we begin our trek out of the maze in silence, I stare at him, waiting to see that warmth in his eyes. Some sign of tenderness in the determined gaze trained on our mission ahead.
Instead, it’s just icy steel.
My heart wilts.
Kai
Armand is all about breaking someone’s spirit, and that’s how I feel.
Broken.
I knew my scars would reappear. I knew it would happen sooner rather than later. I was even prepared for it to destroy me, but I guess I overestimated my ability to handle it.
In hindsight, it was foolish of me to completely submit to the illusion of my perfection. When I suggested that Ro and I enjoy ourselves, I wasn’t thinking of myself. It was for Ro’s benefit. Consequences be damned, I was going to show her a good time.
I succeeded, but in the process, I lost vital pieces of myself to her.
My heart. My sanity. My self-control.
I’m not ready to go back to reality. Not after what Ro and I did in that bathroom.
Not after finding out what it’s like to impress a beautiful queen. To have her gaze at me with such lust while I had my face buried in her pussy. To watch her eyes shine with admiration every time she looks at me.
But she’ll never see me that way again—handsome, aesthetically pleasing.
I’ve never dealt with this kind of disappointment before. Until Ro, I didn’t know what it’s like to want a woman to be mine in every sense of the word, and I’m struggling with the fact that I can’t be what she needs or deserves.
The rational part of me is saying,it was fun while it lastedandjust be glad it happened at all.
The other part—the one that’s crazed by these feelings—wants to beg Ro to settle for me.
However, I won’t put that on her. The last thing I want is her pity, and I can’t breathe when I think about what it would be like to listen to her awkwardly explain why she isn’t interested in me anymore.
Focusing on our surroundings, I scan the desert-like landscape and the brownish-gray clouds.
