AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We had sex without a condom. I’ve never done that. And he admitted he’s not seeing anyone else—although, I swear I heard an unspokenat the momentin there somewhere.
But I trust him.
I have no idea how that even happened, but I know it’s true. I believe, deep down, he’d never put me in any danger.
After we finished, we lay there for I don’t even know how long, his weight on top of mine. And I think I’d have stayed there for even longer—sticky mess between us and all—but he finally suggested we take a shower, and I agreed.
After a shower of washing each other, kissing, rutting together until we were both coming all over each other again, and then rinsing off, we finally made it back to my bed where we collapsed naked under the covers.
But now, so many questions swirl around in my head. So many I want to ask but so many I probably shouldn’t. I don’t want to rush things or freak him out. I don’t want him to run away from me.
So I’m stone still and completely silent as I lie next to him on my back, staring up at my ceiling. His arm wraps around my waist, and he cuddles into my side, nuzzling into my neck. It feels so damn good, I could cry.
I don’t remember the last time I cuddled like this.
Okay, yeah, I do. But it brings back too many bad memories. For the moment, God, this feels so damn good. And so different from that. A hundred times more powerful. What does that say about my time with the man I thought I was going to spend my entire life with?
Because even during our best times, it didn’t feel like this.
David had his sweet moments, and he actually has the good-guy persona down pat, but he didn’t hold me this way. It’s almost indescribable how good this feels, and I don’t want it to end.
I’m flat-out terrified it might.
“Hey,” I hear Royal’s quiet rasp near my ear, but I can’t make myself speak or even move. “Naked rule applies now. Ask me whatever it is you’re thinking about.”
Damn him. How can he read me that well? I’m usually very good at being unreadable. I squeeze my eyes tight and shake my head. I don’t want to mess this up.
“Soren.” I hear a hint of fear in his voice. “What’s wrong?”
Oh, fuck it.I open my eyes and turn my head so I can see him. “Are we a thing? I really want us to be a thing. I mean...” My heart is pounding so damn hard, but I keep going, “I know you’ll have to keep it a secret.” I feel like retching, but I manage to keep it at bay. “And I understand that. Especially since it’s so new.” Royal shifts so his head is propped up on his hand, his elbow bent and braced on the bed. But he doesn’t say anything. He lets me go on with my mindless babble.
God, I wish he’d stop me.
But he doesn’t.
I roll to my side to look directly at him. “And I know this is all new to you. And hell, it’s probably just a hookup. A little bit of fun. But damn it, Royal.” He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t speak. I huff, annoyed. “Say something. Say anything. Tell me I’m crazy and it was just fucking, and I need to get a goddamn grip.”
“You finished?”
I glare at him, annoyed and embarrassed. “Yes.”
He drops his hand, then pulls my body closer, forcing my head to rest on his shoulder. “I’ve never felt like this before in my entire life. I don’t know if it’s because my life has been shit until now and I haven’t let anyone get close to me or if it’s simply just you. But no, this isn’t a casual thing for me.”
I force myself to take a breath because it feels like my chest might explode at any moment. And despite the words spewing from my mouth a moment ago, I can’t seem to think of one thing to say.
“And I don’t want to hide you.”
My gut clenches tight at the thought. “But?” I force myself to ask.
“But nothing.”
I look up at his face, still resting on his arm. “Your career.”
“I don’t give a fuck about what any of my fans think about who I’m with.”
I frown at that because obviously that’s true, but I’m supposed to be helping him fix his career, and let’s face it—despite making some positive strides recently—racing is far from being accepting.
“There’ll be backlash. Or they’ll say you’re fucking me to get me to say good things about you.”
