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Mickey doesn’t take to her new sister very quickly, hissing and slapping at her for a good hour before the new kitten gets tired of it and curls up on Soren’s lap as we sit on the couch together in the living room.
Annie and Oscar have also calmed down and finally stopped barking at the new kitten. They’re curled up by Soren’s fireplace in this comfy little setup here. It’s cold as shit outside, so we have the fire going, and I can’t help but think about how domestic this whole scene is.
About how much I dreamed about this when I was that sick kid stuck in the hospital for so long. Thinking about a nice warm home, surrounded by animals with someone who loved me. Sure, maybe back then, I thought it would be a woman—but now, it’s all Soren.
This is what I desperately want.
Speaking of the man, he leans his head on my shoulder as he scrolls through his Instagram comments and smiles. “See? You’re growing on them.”
He shows me a couple of comments about how cute Molly is and how they’re glad he listened to me. I see one that saysWELL, AT LEAST HE’S AN ANIMAL LOVER!which makes me laugh.
“Maybe a little bit.”
“You are. They’re starting to see the real guy.” He puts his phone down and turns to look up at me while still resting his head on my shoulder. “The child who had to live in foster care, and the man who loves animals and amusement parks.”
I look down into his eyes. “So does that mean I can tell them we’re dating?”
His mood seems to sour, and his lips turn into a frown. I miss the smile instantly. “You know I’m not ashamed of you, right?”
“What?” I ask as I shift a little to get a better look at him.
He pulls away from me but turns his body into mine, so he’s looking right at me. “I’m not wanting to hide you away. I’d never do that to you.”
Something about his expression and the sadness I hear in his voice as he speaks tells me there’s so much more to it. “I know...” But I’m not sure I really do. At least, I don’t really understand it.
He swallows hard, his hand brushing over my cheek sweetly. “I’ve done the secret relationship thing before.”
My guess is it didn’t go well. I don’t want to push him into talking about something painful, but I want to know everything about him too. I crave the information because if there’s anyway I can take away his agony—even a little bit—I will. “Do we need to be naked to talk about this?” I try to lighten the mood, but honestly, I just feel sick.
I don’t want him to hurt. Not now. Not in the past. Not ever.
He gives a soft chuckle but then shakes his head. “No. It’s not my secret. I won’t use names.” I’m sure my gaze darkens a little because I damn sure want names. I’m kind of hoping it’s a racer, so if I did have a name, the fucker would be easy to get to. But then again, I don’t want Soren pissed at me.
Good lord. I’m already totally whipped, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to avoid fights and rubbin’ out on the track from now on if I can because I don’t want my man mad.
I want to roll my eyes at my damn self, but I end up smiling instead.
“What?” Soren asks, looking slightly amused but also worried. He probably should be. I’m a bit unhinged at the moment.
“Tell me,” I nearly whisper.
“I was an idiot.” I find that hard to believe, but his eyes tell me not to argue, so I’m quiet. “I fell for a professional football player. One who was in the process of getting a divorce from his wife.”
I swallow hard, trying to rid the nasty taste in my mouth.
“They weren’t together anymore. I promise, I wasn’t a home wrecker.”
“Soren,” I say with an amused half laugh as I take his hand in mine and pull it to my mouth to kiss his knuckles. “I know that. You don’t have to say it. You’re not capable of hurting anyone on purpose.”
“But he was straight. At least... that was his image.”
I nod in understanding. “So he wasn’t?”
He shakes his head sadly. “He tried.” He sighs. “He didn’t want to be gay, and it was so damn sad. He thought he had to hide who he was, so he got married to a woman. He tried to be what he thought they all wanted.”
“That is sad,” I agree, but I still don’t like this fucker. Whether I feel sorry for his situation or not, he clearly hurt Soren.
Soren continues, “At first, I thought it was okay to hide our relationship. He was in the middle of a nasty divorce, and I’d never force anyone to come out publicly before they were ready.”
