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Would I want it?
What if I freak the hell out the moment his lips touched mine and I wasn’t as interested in the contact as I thought.
Jesus Christ, I am truly messed up.
“Adam?” His voice cuts through my thoughts, and I clear my throat.
“Uh, yeah?”
His eyes narrow as he watches me. “Is that okay? If we stay in tonight? I don’t want to ruin your plans.”
“That’s totally fine with me,” I say honestly. I’ll always choose a night alone with Zach over everything. Doesn’t he know that?
But I also don’t want him to miss out on anything because of me. Because my brain doesn’t really work like other people’s. Because I’m different and would take the solitude of living out on the farm over the city noise any day. Because I can’t get the courage to ask him if maybe he’d like to try the experience with me.
It’s too damn scary. Too many variables.
I’m not sure if I’d want to actually kiss. Or touch. Or more. Although, if I’m being honest, my dick seems to be on board with all the above at the moment.
And that’s strange.
Maybe I could.
I look over at Zach, who stands up now and grabs his bag. “I’m going to uh, go shower and change for bed then.”
I nod my head dumbly, thinking about Zach in that bathroom, stripping down and climbing under the spray of the shower. My dick jerks inside my jeans, and holy shit, I seem to like the idea of Zach being naked a whole hell of a lot.
Wow. I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. He leaves the room, closing the door behind him, and I find myself hating that damn door. Wanting to look inside like some sort of damn creeper.
I lie on my back and breathe in deeply, trying to get my body under control—something I’ve never had to do before.
I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I can’t say I absolutely hate it. What I hate is the unknown. That and thinking about going to the club tomorrow night and watching Zach around a bunch of guys wanting to get into his pants.
Guys who can certainly give him exactly what he wants.
Could I be that guy for him?
I just don’t know.
And if I don’t know, I can’t wreck his only chance at normalcy.
Fuck, I really am a mess.
SIXTEEN
ZACH
Can I really go through with this? I don’t really know.What I really want isn’t an option. I was able to hold off last night. Make the excuse that I was tired and way too full to go to a crowded club and dance. But the truth is if I were going there with Adam—as his date—I could’ve dance the entire night away.
But I can’t back out tonight. We had an early dinner after a day of walking around the city. It was a perfect day. We found a cool history museum downtown and spent a couple of hours there. We had lunch at the food truck outside of it—talk about convenient.
We went to a couple of shops, and I got a couple of things for my sisters, and he grabbed a few things for his parents. It was a good day.
And honestly, I wish we could just skip this part and hang out in the room again. But he went to all this trouble for me, and I need to at least try.
So now, I’m showered and dressed in tight jeans and a black button-down shirt, and my hair is styled a little bit. I’m standing next to Adam—who’s also freshly showered, wearing a bright-blue button-down and dark jeans. We’re in the hotel elevator, getting ready to walk to the club.
He didn’t spend too long fussing over his blond hair, but he didn’t need to. Adam is just gorgeous, completely and totally without effort. My entire body flushes, thinking about how many men will be all over my best friend as soon as we go inside. But I try to force my jealousy away.
