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I chuckle and flex my right bicep—even though you can’t see anything with my coat on. “We’ll be just fine.”
He rolls his eyes at me, but he’s smiling. “What should we do until dinner?”
There are a lot of ways I want to answer that question, but I take his hand and lead him down the stairs instead. He seems confused but goes along with me, and I know no one inside is paying attention to us.
I pull him into the large barn and close the door. “Adam, what’s going on?”
What is going on exactly?
I kissed him. And I loved it.
But it’s scary too. So damn scary.
I don’t know what it means, but all I know is I can’t let him down. I can’t hurt him. And I cannot lose him.
“I think we need to talk.”
He nods and looks almost numb. “O-okay.” But I don’t think he actually means it, and he starts to pace. “I mean, we really don’t have to. Nothing has to change. We’re best friends. We don’t have to talk about what um...” He doesn’t stop moving. “About what... well, you know...”
“The kiss,” I answer for him, and then finally, he stops moving. He’s just staring at me now.
“Yes. That um...” He takes a deep breath, and I’m worried he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t let it out, which thankfully, he finally does. “The kiss.”
“It was a good kiss,” I say, and I swear his eyeballs nearly pop out of his head.
“It was?” He steps closer to me, his breathing picking up, and he licks his bottom lip. I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not, but I can’t look away. “I mean, I know it was.” He stops when he’s about a foot away from me. “For me. But...”
“I liked it,” I say honestly.
“You did?” He sounds so in awe, it breaks my heart. And yeah, I don’t really understand it either, but I’d never lie to him. He has to know that. “I mean... I thought that...”
I can’t help smiling. “I think we were maybe right. That I’m...” My chest swells as I think about what I’m about to say because it feels right. The more I look it up. The more I think about it. “Demi.”
He studies me. “So you need a strong connection.”
I nod, moving a little closer to him. “I do. And what connection is stronger than what we have?”
He brightens at that, standing a little taller, and I swear I see his hand move, like maybe he’s going to touch me. But then he takes a step back, keeping his hands at his sides. “Is this you...” He clears his throat, and I watch his chest inflate with a deep breath. Even through his thick coat, I can see the motion. “Are you protecting me again?”
I lift a brow. “By kissing you?”
“No.” He waves his hand exaggeratedly between us. “By... saying you liked it. Is that you trying to guard my feelings? To make me feel better?”
I take a step closer to him and grab his hips with my hands to keep him still. “I kissed you, remember?”
His wide eyes meet mine, and I see the heat in them. Heat that makes my body react almost instantly. It’s so foreign to me, but at the same time, it feels so damn right. I want to kiss him again.
And again.
But I know that we need to talk about this. Despite finally feeling a sense of normalcy for the first damn time in my life, I won’t ruin what we have. “I remember.”
“So shouldn’t it be you making me feel better, if anything?”
He scoffs at that. “I’d kiss you every damn day. Every second, if I could. I don’t need comforting.”
That lights my entire body on fire, and I squeeze his hips a little tighter in my hands. “I wanted to kiss you,” I say firmly as he looks into my eyes, and we stand so close, I can feel his breath over my lips. “I just...”
“Just?” He sounds worried, but also dazed as he remains still, staring at me.
