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But still, I can’t bring myself to regret last night. The way I felt with him. The way I always feel with him. So damn safe.
I check my phone to make sure it’s turned up and sit it next to me on the bed before I let my eyes fall closed with him wrapped around me.
Today was a disaster. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I can’t rely on the Bateses forever. I have to form an actual plan.
But for right now, I’m going to give myself this moment in Adam’s arms and not worry.
For right now, I’m going to let them take care of everything before it all falls right back on my shoulders.
TWENTY-THREE
ADAM
I don’t want to pull Zach from his deep sleep, but I just got a text from my mom telling us lunch is ready. I know we need to face this head-on as soon as possible. My parents are cool, but I’m not sure where their heads are at.
They’ve raised four of us, and I’m not positive they really want to take on three more. Although, I always had the feeling my mom wanted to have even more kids, and I know how much she cares about those girls.
“Zach,” I breathe into his ear, loving the scent of him, despite the mess we’re in. He rolls over to his back and groans, but keeps his eyes closed. “Zach.”
“Hmm?”
“We need to get to lunch. Mom wants to talk, I think.”
He sits straight up now, his whole body going rigid. “What time is it?”
I sit up and hug his waist, hoping to calm him. “It’s noon. Everyone is okay. It’s just time to go back to my parents’ house.”
He nods, and I feel him slowly release his breath. “Okay. Let’s go.”
We climb out of bed and put our coats on, heading back to the house. When we walk inside, we’re greeted with laughter. Lots and lots of laughter and warm heat from the fireplace.
Mom sees us walk in and directs us to the kitchen, where we join Dad, my brothers, and the girls already at the table and digging into to fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
“Sit, boys,” Mom says as she hands us both a plate. We take them and load up as she sits down.
Mary seems awfully content, and I’m grateful she has a smile on her face right now after so much trauma this morning.
“I took Mary to the doctor.” I feel Zach stiffen next to me, and I look over at my mom, waiting for her to continue. “She’s okay. She’s feeling better now. They think she might have had a stomach bug, and there’s no sign of a concussion.”
“Uh...” Zach seems at a loss for words, but I know he’s worried about the same thing I am. Doctors would and should ask questions when a child comes in with a bruise like that.
She waves him off with a smile. “We may have told a little white lie.” She looks over at Mary and then back at us. “That Mary was staying with us and fell. Don’t worry. They know us pretty well, after all the years you boys have gone there hurt. They just checked her out.”
“No cops!” Mary says happily, and my heart breaks for her that she was stuck in such hell for so long that she knows if the cops were called, she’d likely be taken into child protective custody.
“No, baby. No cops,” my mom says, and I send a sad smile her way. I’m grateful as hell to her.
We all eat and chat about mundane things until the younger kids finish, and they all bounce off to play in the snow, which started to fall after we got here. It’s not much, but enough for them to be excited.
That’s when the discussion becomes serious, and Mom sets her eyes on us. “I talked to your mother, Zach.”
Again he stiffens and looks like he’s going to puke.
“And?” I ask, even though I’m as afraid as Zach looks right now.
“And the girls are going to stay here for a while. She understands, but I don’t feel much sympathy for her.” Her gaze softens on Zach. “I’m sorry, Sweetie.”
Zach lifts a dismissive hand. “I don’t haveanyfor her.”
