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His eyes narrowed but he let it go and got back down to business while I did my best to stay in the present. I managed not to drift for the rest of the meeting, and as soon as it was over, I shot to my feet and started toward my office. It should have been my sanctuary, but almost as soon as I shut the door behind me those assholes were shoving it open again and storming in like my office was a free-for-all.
“Jesus. Ever heard of knocking?”
Neither of them bothered to acknowledge my question as they took the chairs placed in front of my desk for guests or clients or people I actually wanted to talk to, which neither of them were.
Jensen rested back, kicking one of his feet up to rest an ankle on the opposite knee while Laeth kicked his booted feet on my desk.
“You mind, dickwad?” I asked as I walked past, knocking them off before taking a seat in my chair.
Jensen dove right in the instant my ass hit the chair. “Start talking,” he ordered like we were still in the Army and he was leading a mission. “It’s obvious something’s on your mind. It’s not like you to space when you’re supposed to be focused on something.”
I huffed out a breath and scrubbed at my face. The stubble on my chin was longer than I usually let it get. “It’s nothing,” I assured them, seeing by the looks on their faces they weren’t buying it for a second. “Well, nothing important, at least.” If I couldn’t get away with lying, the least I could do was put their minds at ease about that.
Laeth got serious all of a sudden, leaning forward and bracing his forearms on his knees. “We’re here, man,” he stated bluntly. “If you need to talk about anything. We’ve got you. Believe me, I know what it’s like to hold on to something by yourself. If you need to talk shit out—”
“I appreciate it, really. But I’m good. It’s nothing like that.”
Laeth had struggled a little harder than the rest of us when we got back stateside. He’d tried hiding that shit from us for years, drowning himself in nameless, faceless women and way too much booze. It was a drunken one-night stand that landed him firmly in the parent category, and if it weren’t for that kid, I wasn’t sure he’d have put himself back on the straight and narrow so easily.
His demons had been eating him up, the nightmares almost too much for him to handle. Those of us who were close to him felt helpless to pull him out of the downward spiral he’d been in. It was his son, Cash, and Deva, the woman he’d hired as their nanny, who managed to guide him back into the light. I appreciated him looking out for me more than he’d probably ever know.
“I’m straight, brother,” I reassured, infusing my tone with earnestness. “It’s not about the past. It’s just...” I let out another deep, weighted sigh as I tried to massage the tension from the back of my neck. “It’s stupid, really. Just some shit with Wynn.”
The worry faded from my friends’ faces, quickly replaced with pure interest. For Christ’s sake. These assholes were worse than gossiping women.
“Oh?” Jensen started, eyebrows winging up high on his forehead. “Do tell.”
I hit him with a flat look. “So you can run back to your women and start spreading shit around? Not a fucking chance. Now get the hell out of my office.”
Although... it would have been nice to get someone else’s perspective on the uncomfortable conversation we’d had that morning. But I didn’t trust my partners to keep their mouths shut.
“Oh come on!” Laeth sat up tall, offense chiseling into his features. “We don’t run to tell themeverything.”
I arched a brow and remained silent.
“Okay, so maybe we do,” Jensen finally relented. “But we swear we won’t this time. How’s that? Cone of trust.”
Laeth nodded. “Yeah. Cone of trust.”
I couldn’t believe I was actually considering this. It wasn’t like our whole crew didn’t give me and Wynn shit on a regular basis about hooking up. They were like rabid dogs fighting over a bone. If something like this leaked, they’d salivate over it for years.
But it had been half a freaking day, and I wanted to find this bastard—who didn’t even exist, mind you—and beat him into the ground. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this... unhinged.
“It’s something she said this morning. She’s—” I had to stop and force down the venomous burn crawling up my throat. I hadn’t even said the words out loud and they’d already left an acrid taste in my mouth. “She was talking about finding some random dude to... you know.” Christ, what was I, a fucking prepubescent kid?
Laeth and Jensen looked at me like they were waiting for more.
“You know,” I repeated, those words a harsh whisper, like saying them twice might get through to them.
Jensen shook his head, brows furrowed. “No. Clearly I don’t know. A guy to what? Do her taxes?”
“Please tell me you aren’t expecting us to read your goddamn mind. I get enough of that shit at home. Deva got pissed at me the other night because I didn’t miraculously guess she was in the mood for Italian for dinner.” He scoffed and threw his hands up. “I can’t deal with that shit here too.”
These fucking guys. “She’s looking for a guy to”—I swallowed audibly—“take care of her needs.” I circled my wrist when they remained silent and tacked on. “Like in bed?”
“Oh!” Jensen slapped his knee, the lightbulb finally going off. “Okay, I see. She’s looking to get laid.”
My stomach pitched and twisted like I was at the front of the rollercoaster ride from hell. “Jesus, don’t say it out loud,” I hissed. Why did I suddenly feel the need to cover my ears?
