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Just thinking about getting myself all dolled up to go on the prowl was enough to exhaust me. The thought of doing my hair and makeup and finding a dress that was inviting without crossing that line into trashy was painful. I’d chosen comfy sweats, tons of snacks, and streaming my favorite sitcoms over sex. That was so unlike me. I was beginning to worry that there was something deeper going on. Like meningitis or something. Or maybe mumps?
I wasn’t sure. All I knew was I’d replaced sex with even more food than usual, and I was having to run twice as much as normal in order to work the junk food off.
“Okay, so I might have had a midnight snack,” I grumbled. “But that washoursago. And I haven’t eaten a thing today in preparation for this. So this line needs to move already.”
I said that last sentence louder than necessary, earning a dirty look from the elderly woman in front of me. At my raised eyebrow, she let out ahumphand turned back around. A minute later, we shuffled forward a couple feet.
Her brows climbed higher on her forehead. “Okay, you’re not allowed to fast anymore. You’re a lot hangier than usual, and it’s borderline scary.”
Our other friend, fellow bridesmaid, and Whiskey Doll sister, Layla, walked up to join us. I stabbed my finger toward her face, ordering, “No cuts.”
She looked to Marin, wide-eyed, and mouthed,“Wow.”
“She’s hangry.” Marin held her hands up in surrender. “Just ignore her.”
“Okay, crazy. Just relax. I’m not cutting.” She placed her hand on her stomach. “In fact, I’m still a little full from the charcuterie board Asher’s mom prepared for us during mani/pedis.”
My glare grew more severe. As hard as it had been to ignore Gloria’s tasty snack, I’d held out for the bigger prize. As my stomach let out another growl, I was starting to realize that might have been a mistake.
The line moved another foot. For god’s sake, this was torture!
“So.” Layla waggled her eyebrows. “Have you found tonight’s fun-time guy or are you still scoping things out?”
“Oh, I bet it’s the guy over there at the bar,” Marin guessed. “Mr. Tall Dark and Broody? He totally seems like her type.”
Layla hummed thoughtfully. “My money’s on the DJ actually. You see the way he was checking out her ass when she was walking over here?”
I took my time checking both of the men out, but there was nothing.
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug and turned back to face the front of the buffet line. “Meh.”
My mumble was met by bewildered looks from my friends.
“Are you okay?” Marin asked, her voice tinged with concern.
I waved her off. “I’m fine. I think I might be getting sick or something. I just haven’t been in the mood for... you know, lately.”
“Not in the mood for what?” Layla asked. Then her eyes went wide with realization right before she yelped, “Sex?”
Heads whipped around in every direction, eyeballs coming right at us.
I wasn’t usually one to embarrass easily, but I knew screaming that a person wasn’t in the mood for sex when little children and the elderly were around just wasn’t done. And if I didn’t already know that, the disapproving look from the granny in front of us would have convinced me. I’d only been standing in that line for a handful of minutes and I was already two for two with the old lady.
“I get it,” I told her with a dramatic roll of my eyes. “We’ll keep it down. Jeez. Anyone ever tell you if you keep looking at me like that, your face is going to freeze that way?”
I didn’t know who the hell the lady was, but I sure hoped I wasn’t insulting the hell out of Asher’s granny or great aunt or whoever.
She harrumphed again, whipping forward and giving me the back of her blue-rinsed head. I crossed my eyes and stuck out my tongue in a childish act of defiance before turning to face my friends as the line shuffled forward again.
“Think you can keep from announcing to the entire wedding I’m in a bit of a rut?”
Layla winced and whispered, “Sorry.”
Marin reached up to place the back of her hand against my forehead.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I smacked her arm away.
“Checking for fever,” she announced seriously. “I was joking about you being sick, but now I’m starting to worry.”
