AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Nothing is ever simple, Ciarán,” Ryan replies. “But it’s a start.”
“Fuck this,” I growl, my hands gripping the edge of the bench, knuckles turning white as desperation laces my words.
“For the love of everything,” Ryan barks suddenly. “Get out.”
“What?” Startled, I remain seated.
“I said, get out. I can’t talk to you this way.”
Humbled, I step out of the confessional and find Ryan waiting patiently for me in a dimly lit corner of the church. He’s removed his stole, draping it over one arm, and looks more like my cousin than a priest in this moment.
“Right,” he says, his voice low but firm. “Let’s talk.”
I glance around nervously, suddenly aware of the suffocating silence that fills the sacred space. “I just don’t know what to do anymore, Ryan. My life... it’s all falling apart.”
“Because of this mistake?” he asks, raising an eyebrow as he leans back against the wall, arms folded across his chest.
“Partly, yes,” I reply, rubbing my hands together anxiously. “I can’t get her out of my head. But it’s not just her – it’s everything. The family, the business... our sins keep piling up, and I feel like I’m drowning.”
“Then maybe it’s time to change your ways, Ciarán,” he suggests gently, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Change my ways?” I scoff, feeling a bitter laugh rise in my throat. “You make it sound so easy, Ry. Like I could just walk away from the life.”
“Nobody said it would be easy,” he replies, a hint of steel in his voice. “But you have a choice, Ciarán. You always have a choice.”
“Choice?” I repeat, the word tasting foreign on my tongue. “What choice did I have when I was born into this family? When I was groomed to take over theGannon legacy?” Venom drips on my words, and he flinches slightly.
“Enough with the self-pity,” Ryan snaps, his frustration evident. “You’re better than this, Ciarán. Or at least, you could be if you’d stop drinking so heavily for a start. It’s clouding your mind.”
“Could be?” I snort, the anger I’ve been holding back finally bubbling to the surface. “You’re one to talk, Ryan. You, the saintly priest, a beacon of light in this godforsaken family. Honest to God, your mam brought the wrong kid home from the hospital.”
“Ouch,” he says coolly. “But I saw the destruction and chose a different path, Ciarán. Someone has to atone for this family’s sins.”
“Fecking hell. You’re a pompous dick, aren’t you?”
“The truth hurts.”
“Yeah, guess it does. But you think you can wash away our sins with a few Hail Mary’s and some empty promises?”
“Your cynicism won’t help you here, Ciarán,” Ryan warns, his eyes narrowing. “It’s clear that you’re struggling, but if you truly want to change, then you’ll have to confront your demons head-on.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mutter, feeling the weight of his words press down on me.
They stir something profound within me, like a dormant fire suddenly sparking to life. I clench my fists, trying to keep my emotions in check. But when he continues, it becomes nearly impossible.
“Listen, you need to forget about this girl,” he says firmly, his gaze locked with mine. “She deserves better than this life, and you know it. Let her go, Ciarán. Find a way to make amends without dragging her further into the Gannon family’s web of deceit.”
“You have no idea what it’s like, Ry. The pull I feel toward her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s not just desire; it’s something much deeper, more powerful.”
“Powerful enough to destroy you both if you’re not careful,” he warns, his tone softening for a brief moment before hardening again. “You need to focus on making things right with the rest of our family first. Address the sins of the past so you can have a chance at a better future.”
My throat feels like it’s closing up, like the weight of my emotions is strangling me. “I can’t do it, cuz. I can’t walk away from the one person who makes me feel alive. It’s like tearing my own heart out.”
“Sometimes, Ciarán,” Ryan says gently, placing a hand on my shoulder, “the hardest choices are the ones that ultimately save us.”
The tension in the air between Ryan and me crackles like a live wire, a palpable force that threatens to suffocate us both. The dim light filtering through stained glass windows casts an eerie glow on our faces, while the shadows seem to dance with sinister intent.
“Make peace with your brothers, Ciarán,” Ryan urges, his voice strained but determined. “Cathal and Caden may be estranged, but they’re still your blood. You need to reconnect with them – for your own sake, if not theirs.”
