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“Same.”
We give each other tight smiles, but there is nothing funny about this. It will be brutal and bloody and possibly deadly. There is no way Summer can be thrust into the middle of this.
“Summer stays out of it. No appearances, no mention of her, no flybys to this apartment when she is here.”
“Agreed.” He extends a hand for me to shake.
Rising, I grip it, sealing our agreement.
I can only hope this new path won’t blow up in our faces further down the line.
“Yay!” Summer says quietly, clapping her hands. “This is the start of everything.” A soft smile graces her face. “I don’t know much about anything, but I think this alliance between you two is necessary. It will go a long way to healing the rift that has grown between you two over the years.”
“True,” I concede, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. My mind drifts to our other triplet brother, Caden, who remains an unknown factor in this delicate equation. Would he ever join us, or would he continue down his own path? But I shake those thoughts away – one step at a time. I can only deal with so much, which is beginning to overwhelm me. Now is not the right time to bring it up.
This is uncharted territory – balancing my newfound relationship with Summerbell and my tentative truce with Ciarán – is daunting. I’m not sure I’m equipped to deal with this. I don’t know what to do or say next around her. It was easy when it was just the two of us in the warehouse, and I was in control, but that has evaporated.
“What now?” Summer asks carefully.
Ciarán’s eyes narrow. “That is up to you two. I, personally, need to crash. It’s been fucking days since I slept properly.” He bends to give Summer a sweet kiss that I take note of to reenact when I can force myself to do so.
Cringing at the thought of needing to force myself, I have a lapse in confidence that this is the right move. Will she want me to touch her now? Kiss her? Fuck her?
Standing abruptly, I consider changing my mind about this whole thing when she rises as well, panic on her face.
“Don’t go,” she says. “There is no pressure. Please, Thal. Don’t leave.”
My fists ache with being clenched so tightly. “I can’t...”
“I know, and we don’t have to do anything except talk. Or just sit if that’s what you want.”
Her words soothe the tumultuous emotions. I realize that I don’t have to be anyone else around her. I can just be myself, flaws and all. With a stiff smile, I nod and sit back down, feeling her settle beside me again as Ciarán slips out. I don’t know if he really needs to sleep or if he’s just throwing me in the deep end, but I wish he’d stuck around. We sit in companionable silence, lost in our thoughts, but it’s not uncomfortable.
As I stare at the empty glass in front of me, Summerbell is watching me.
I meet her gaze, and she smiles gently.
It’s been a long time since anyone has accepted me without judgment or criticism. I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope, but I don’t want to disappoint her.
“I’m not used to this,” I admit, my voice rough. “I don’t know how to act around you.”
She reaches out, her hand hovering over mine. “It’s okay. Just be yourself. That’s all I want.”
Staring at her hand for what feels like an eternity, I grab her fingers, feeling a warmth spread through me. I know I’m not good at expressing my emotions, but I want her to know how much she means to me. I take a deep breath and turn to face her, our eyes meeting in a moment of raw vulnerability.
“I don’t want to mess this up,” I say softly. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I’m not good with emotions or feelings and shit.”
Summer squeezes my hand reassuringly. “We’ll figure it out together. We’ll take it one step at a time and learn as we go.”
Her words are like a balm to my anxious mind. I know I don’t have to have all the answers right now.
And that’s okay.
39
SUMMER
Taking a deep breath, gathering my courage before approaching Gary at work the next day, I’m dreading this. Ciarán and Thal were not happy about me coming into work, but I won’t be a kept woman, and after much discussion, I told them the store is laden with CCTV, and I will be safe, and if the worst happens, they will at least be able to find out what happened. Okay, so that bit didn’t go down so well, but as it so happens, Ciarán is very receptive to giving me what I want when I’m sat on his dick, so here I am. Doing my work. Steeling myself. Waiting for the inevitable questions. Thal was less easy to convince, what with me not having sat on his dick yet, but that’s fine. Ciarán talked him around after making me promise to let them pick me up later.
