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Leo chuckles. “You should rest for now. We’ll start in the morning.”
“I’m anxious,” I confess.
“I know you are. But these sorts of things take time to put together. If we rush and make a mistake, the perpetrator could get away with it. We need to cover our bases. Make sure they don’t see us coming.”
I bite my tongue. I suppose he’s right. Still, it does nothing to settle the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Anxiety twists in my guts. I think about Kseniya standing at the front of the practice room, smiling brightly. I think about the director, and how he didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself. He refused to listen. Until now, I’ve unknowingly been saddled to a runaway horse, and I didn’t see the danger until it threw me off. Now all I want to do is pull on the reins.
“There’s a bathroom through there,” he tells me. “If you need anything… you know where to find me.”
I’m blown away by his endless compassion. I don’t think he expects anything in return, yet he’s doing all this for me without complaint. It’s a struggle sometimes to consolidate these two sides of him. The criminal and the saint. Now I’m starting to see that maybe I’m looking at this whole thing all wrong, trying to understand him from a one-sided point of view.
A man can be more than one thing. Do I like the fact that he’s done some less than legal things in his lifetime? Of course not. But the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to realize it’s wrong to judge him solely on his crimes. He explained everything perfectly to me.
He is who he is today out of necessity.
And that has made him the man I love. The man whose child I’m carrying. I will have to tell him, eventually. But when? Given our circumstances, is there even a right time to do it?
“How much is my portion of the rent?” I ask.
“I’m not charging you to stay here.”
“How long can I stay?”
“As long as you want.”
“I promise when things calm down I’ll start looking for my own place.”
Leo’s face hardens. I can tell he has something to say by the way his fingers twitch, but he doesn’t utter a word.
“I have some business to take care of,” he says. “Get some rest. We’ll get started in the morning.”
“Leo?”
“Yes, Nikita?”
Fuck it. I can’t fight this feeling anymore. When I’m without him, I’m miserable. I would much rather accept him for who he is and be at his side than endure another day without him. I want to be his and I want him to be mine, damn the consequences. The people I thought I could trust all turned their backs on me. He’s the only one on Earth I would trust with my life.
I rush toward him and practically fling myself into his arms. Always at the ready and prepared to catch me, Leo lifts me up off the floor so I can wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. Our lips crash together, desperate tongues tangling as we soak in each other’s warmth.
“I’m not scared of you,” I tell him earnestly. “I could never be scared of you.”
The warm glint in his eye speaks volumes. There’s no need for long-winded speeches or heartfelt words. We can feel it instead, the connection between us burning brighter than the sun.
Our kisses become heated, every touch feverish to the point where I feel like I might fall apart without him near. Leo carries me down the hall to his bedroom without even breaking a sweat. I wonder if I’m as light as a feather to him.
He helps me out of my clothes, I help him out of his. I feel his rough palms everywhere, touching and exploring like he’s determined to map out every curve, line, and dip. I drown in the scent of him lifting off his sheets, his skin. I get drunk off the taste of his tongue, high off the sound of his voice murmuring in my ear.
“Should I break out the rope?” he asks me with a light laugh.
I smile at him. “Actually, can I give it a try?”
He arches a brow. “Feeling adventurous are we?” he asks, but he nonetheless walks over to his bedside table to retrieve the red silk rope. He hands it to me, delicately placing it in his hands.
“Do you trust me?” I ask him.
He nods, not a hint of worry to be found in his ruggedly handsome features. “I trust you, Nikita.”
I lick my lips, my mind racing at the endless opportunities before me. “This might be a bit messy. I’m no Boy Scout.”
