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I stare out the window, watching the dusk drawing in.
I’m glad I kept to myself about Serra. I can do withoutdyadyaDavid telling tales to Papa, and Sasha isn’t the only one who can call in a cleaning crew. The less my siblings know, the better.
I willneverapologize for killing Hektor, Serra, or anyone who offends my wife. The circumstances are irrelevant—hurt her, and it’s over. I don’t know what made her cling to me in the night, but if fear has a face, I will rip it from his skull.
The room grows dark. Here is peace, if only for now. Meanwhile, my father keeps breathing only out of spite, and tomorrow I will marry a woman who hates me just to appease him. I stare at his velvet portrait, the hated eyes staring straight back.
I will be pakhan. I’ll have the control and power I earned through suffering. And I will be like my Papa.
I allow myself a bittersweet smirk.What an achievement.
A melodic tinkling cuts through my thoughts. Lilyana is at the piano.
I lean against the doorframe so I can see her better. She’s lost in the music, her fingers floating over the keys. She’s at her most tranquil when she plays, her anxiety quelled by the security of the instrument she knows so well.
A creak on the stairs, and through the gaps in the balustrade, I see Morgana. She hasn’t noticed me, and as I watch, she drifts into the foyer, sitting near the piano. She leans against the back of the chair and closes her eyes.
I don’t know why, but my heart aches like never before.
Why must beauty always be ruined?
My mother is dead and gone, and she took her love with her—the love that stopped me from suffocating. After that, the world felt so cold. I don’t do enough to keep Mama’s memory alive because it hurts me too much to think of her, but pushing her away made space for my father’s bullshit to consume me.
She would want me to take care of the family. I can’t fail her. Lili almost died because I shirked my responsibilities.
I have no choice. But Icanchoose to be a good husband. I may not be able to love Morgana the way she deserves, but I don’t have to hurt her, either.
“Oh, hey, Vladi!”
Lilyana has seen me, and she stops playing and waves at me. Morgana’s expression is cool, her eyes refusing to be caught.
“Hey, Lili. Sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“I was about to practice your wedding song,” Lili flexes her fingers. “You said I could play anything I wanted, right?”
“Right.”
Morgana is on her feet. “I’m gonna go to bed,” she says, avoiding looking at me.
“No, stay. You and Vladi have to dance tomorrow—Sasha told me Papa expects it. I’ll play, and you practice dancing.”
“Okay,” Morgana says. “One dance.”
I join her in the open space before the piano, and Lili flicks on a standing lamp. Morgana’s hands shake as she rests them on my shoulders, and I take hold of her waist, pulling her closer.
Lilyana plays the song I love most in the world. The one I hoped she wouldn’t choose.
A hollow feeling fills my chest.
It’s only a song. Only a dance. Only a marriage.
It means nothing.
22
Morgana
'Can't Help Falling In Love.'
