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He finds the tune, and I tuck myself in so he can reach the keys more easily.
"She taught me when I was very young." Vlad sounds peaceful as he takes solace in the memory. "It was the first piece Lili learned, too, because I taught it to her. When she came home from the hospital, I played it to help her heal. It's what my Mama would have done if she were here."
My heart is breaking at the thought of the younger Vlad, distraught and half-crazy with worry for his little sister, playing the song his mother loved.
"You're good to Lili. Your mother would be proud of how well you care for her."
"No, she wouldn't." Vlad hits a bum note but continues to play. "It's because of me that Lilyana got hurt." He takes his hands off the keys and wraps his arms around me. "My father didn't care to trouble himself with the twins, so I did a ton of babysitting whether or not I wanted to. I was thirty-one and taking care of six of our businesses simultaneously, so I was getting burned out and resentful." He exhales. "We were at our house in the Hamptons, and Papa had fucked off with his cronies. Lili was driving me crazy that day. She was so outgoing back then, so daring, climbing everything."
Vlad's fingers tense on my thigh, and I put my hand over his. I don't know why he's telling me this now, but I won't stop him.
"I needed a minute, so I went outside and down the steps to the deck. Lili thought I was angry with her. I hadn't shut the door properly, and she came running out." He buries his face in my shoulder. "I don't sleep much, but I see three things in my dreams. My father's face as he beat me, Mama's eyes closing for the last time, and Lili," his voice catches, "Lili at the top of those steps, saying 'Vladi, don't be mad.'"
My eyes spill over.
"She tripped and fell the whole way. Although I did what I needed to and got an ambulance, I lost my shit and couldn't stop crying. Papa told me to stop being a pussy. He punched me for the first time since I was a teenager, but I remember little else. I sat beside her in the hospital day and night."
"It was an accident," I say. Vlad's cheek is wet under my palm. "These things happen."
Vlad ignores my remark. "My family is relying on me. David thinks I'm not good leadership material, and he may want to take control of the bratva. It may be Papa's mind games that got me thinking that way. But killing Hektorwillhave consequences. I just don't know what they'll be."
"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have this problem. Please get the people I love to safety. They may be in danger."
"Okay." Vlad nudges me to my feet. "We're not going on honeymoon anyway, not with a funeral to arrange. I'll give your parents our tickets."
"Thank you." I furrow my brow. "Where were we going?"
"Italy. Tuscan country villa, calm and peaceful. I'll make travel arrangements for you and Josie, too."
I shake my head. "I can't leave. I'd go insane from worry. You're gonna deal with this new enemyandgo after Jack."
"Don't call him that," Vlad says. "His name is Cassius, not whatever pet name you had for him." The anger drains from his voice. "My life will always be this way. If you stay with me, you'll forever be looking over your shoulder."
He's right. Unless his prosperous bratva collapses around him because of me.
"IfI left now," I ask, "would you drop it? Would you forget about Cassius? Apologize to Hektor's boss, pay him, try to avoid a war?"
"No." Vlad doesn't smile. "You could spit in my face and storm out right now, and it'd change nothing. I'll take the fight to Hektor's boss and force him to back off." His face darkens. "And as for Cassius, he's dead. He'll rue the day he set eyes on you, Morgana. You have my word. Fight me, hate me, leave me, but I'll still destroy anyone who dares to hurt you. I failed to keep Lili safe and won't make the same mistake again."
I take his hands in mine. "You're not the man I believed you to be. I don't know whether I'm falling for you or going crazy, but I don't wanna be alone tonight."
Vlad stands, and I'm in his arms, my head on his chest. His heart beats against my ear.
"Take me to bed," I whisper. "I need you."
31
Vlad
Ithought I'd be glad when my father died. I thought seeing his body would make my cold heart sing with joy. But I just feel numb.
My father's approval was the only thing I wanted as a kid. The more he beat me, the more he screamed in my face, the more I craved a kind word. It would have meant everything if he'd told me he was proud of me. Justonce.
I had Mama, and she tried to soothe me with her gentle love. But she and my father were like two sides of the same coin, and the more fiercely she loved me, the more Papa battled to tear me and her to pieces.
Now my father is gone, and I have what I want. The bratva is mine, the businesses too. All the money, the assets, everything. But now, at the pinnacle of my life's purpose and the realization of my destiny, I see how utterly fucking pointless it is.
I expected to be partying in the hours following my father's passing. Drinking, raising hell, living it up, knowing the vicious piece of shit couldn't get to me anymore. But I'm at the piano for the first time since Lili's accident, picking out the song Mama would have sung to her baby twins if she'd lived. And my wife—the woman I married purely to serve my selfish purposes—is here with me. Accepting the broken parts of me without question, without mocking.
