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I wake up with my face pressed against the side of Brooklyn’s stomach and my arm wrapped around her waist. Brooklyn is snoring, as usual, and I move slowly so that I do not wake her up. I pull the cover up over her and head to the bathroom. I feel differently, and as much as I fought to keep my past in the past I wonder if I shouldn’t have told this truth a long time ago. Not carrying this around anymore feels like a weight has been lifted. Now, however, I am in the fight of my life. It is going to take possibly years for me to make up for all of my stupidity, where Brooklyn is concerned. It’s only a few months before she is due to have the baby, so I am running on borrowed time.
I send a text to Lennox and await her response as I go to the kitchen to make Brooklyn breakfast and wait for her to wake up.
“That smells wonderful,” Brooklyn says, walking into the kitchen. She’s let her hair grow a bit. It’s still super short but much longer than she usually wears it.
“Have a seat and let me fix you a plate,” she struggles to get up on the stool, yelling at me to not help her, “I got it, Aryan. I refuse to be completely useless.”
“You’re pregnant, not useless, you are out here running your practice, getting a new house together and the baby nursery, and growing a human inside of you. I think needing help to sit on a stool is acceptable.”
“I guess,” she says before digging into her plate.
“Can you drop me off when I am done?”
“Yes,” I tell her, and I can tell she was bracing herself for me to say no or fight with me. We have a quiet breakfast before she grabs her belongings so I can drop her off at home.
“Brooklyn, I know last night was a lot to take in, but I am asking if you would be open to me making up for everything. I know I can’t make up for years of keeping not just your desires from you but also my past. And I am okay with spending years making up for it if you’ll let me.” I say as we sit in her driveway, but she doesn’t immediately respond, and I am not surprised. “You don’t have to answer that right away,”
“Ok,” breaks the silence of the car.
“Come on, let me walk you to the door,” I say, getting out and making my way around the car to open the door for her. I open the door and make sure the house is secure before kissing her on the forehead and leaving her alone. I need to head home. I have some plans to make.
When I get back home, my brothers are waiting for me.
“Now that it's just us, I figured it would be a good time to talk,” Josh says, and I should have known this was coming.
“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to go through all of this again,”
“None of us is asking you to talk about the details again, but come on, Ary, you had to know we would want to talk about it,” Atlas says.
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me,” Jaasiel says to me.
“It was not personal, and by the way, you didn’t tell me about your condition, Jaa and Atlas, no one knew about your vendetta and Asher, you didn’t tell anyone about your club, and let’s not talk about Anson and Megan being married for years and never told any of us. So please don’t stand there like you’re surprised because we all have stuff we have kept to ourselves,” I say.
“Not me,” Josh and Joseph say at the same time.
“Didn’t you hide Joyce for like months?” Asher points out.
“Shut up,” he replies.
“Well, I don’t,” Josh says, and none of us can argue with that.
“So, back to you. I mean, I can understand you not wanting to talk about it, but come on, Aryan, you were married and a father`”
“I was a husband for less than nine months and a father for not even an hour,”
“You are still a father, Aryan. You can’t take that back. You held him, named him, you loved him even if it was just a minute. Once you become a father, you are always one,” Atlas says.
“And I failed him when he needed me the most. I failed him,” I say, voicing my insecurity out loud.
“You absolutely did not fail him. You brought him into this world safely in the middle of the night with no assistance, no help, and for as long as he was here, you loved him. That’s not failure. And some things are out of our control, no matter how well-trained we are,” Josh reasons.
“Now, what will you do about Brooklyn, now that everything is out in the open?”
“I’m going to try to win her back, and if not, be a great dad and the best co-parent I can be. Honestly, I wish I could have talked about this sooner, but honestly, if I hadn’t been backed into a corner, I would have gone to my grave never telling anyone about Sophia and A.J. It was too hard to talk about, to contend with the fact that I let down my wife and child. I have years to make up for if she’ll let me, and even if we are not together, I still owe her as much,” I declare, and all my brothers are shaking their heads in agreement.
“We’ll help in any way you need us to. Now, what are we going to do about Alondra and Salove?” Anson says.
“I’ll tell you this, every time I think we are past secrets, another one pops up, now I am over this shit. How can we be as close as we are but constantly keep important shit from each other? And it’s always some shit that threatens one or all of our lives. We’re getting too old for this shit,” Josh says.
