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That prompted a laugh from Star. She looked at me differently all of a sudden. Until then, I’d had an uncomfortable feeling from her, like she was always trying to size me up, or figure me out. Even when we were out on the job at Julia’s house, she wasn’t completely relaxed around me.
“I’ve been withholding sex,” I said, making it up as I went along. “I guess it’s working.”
“Why?” she asked, leaning forward.
“It’s a bit awkward,” I said. “We’ve been arguing about things and I guess, I’m punishing him.”
“I get it,” she said, nodding her head energetically. “Keep him keen. It’s the same with me and Trevor. Although he can be a little too keen, if you know what I mean,” she gave a high-pitched laugh that sent shockwaves of pain through my head. She tossed her hair back and winked at me.
The thought of Trevor being enthusiastic in bed was not appealing. It made me want to throw up. His bald head, the huge belly, the fleshy nose on that guy. The thought of him naked made me rush to the bathroom.
“You okay?” Star stood in the doorway, her voice full of fake concern. I had puked out all of her miracle shake.
“I’m sorry I’m being such a bore,” I croaked but she smiled at me and I could see she was loving this. Seeing me reduced to this miserable state. It made me feel a bit sad for her, that this would make her feel better. She had to feel awful about herself to need to see me humbled like this. But oddly enough, I didn’t mind. “I’m glad Summer is having a good time, she was anxious about this weekend.”
A calculating look passed over Star’s face and I thought for a moment I had overplayed my hand.
“So, when is the wedding?” she asked sweetly.
“I don’t know if there will be a wedding now,” I said weakly. “Tate was really mad at me for getting so wasted. He stormed out of here this morning in such a state.”
Star came closer. “He can be controlling, you have to watch out.”
I nodded. “I know, I know.” I wanted to win Star over but even more than that, I wanted to sleep. “You’ve been really wonderful Star, but I think I’m going to lie down now,” I said, stumbling to bed.
“Get better soon, hon,” she smiled at me with perfect teeth and plump pink lips. When I woke up again, it was evening but Tate was still not back.
At least, I felt better.
I got dressed and went down for something to eat. I carefully walked to the elevator, feeling soreness in my thighs. I had a memory of slinging them over Tate’s shoulder at one point in the evening, why was I even attempting a position like that? I must have been out of my mind.
But at the same time, I couldn’t help wondering at how natural it had felt between us, how easy it was. When he’d arrived at the party and I had come on to him, he had responded with such enthusiasm, like he had been waiting for me to show him a sign that I wanted him, that I wanted to sleep with him again. He had ripped off my clothes with such impatience in the hotel room, and he’d initiated sex again and again after that. Not that I minded, I mean, Tate was attractive and attentive and he was as focused on giving me pleasure as getting off himself. And I’d been trying to push away the thoughts of him for so long that it was wonderful just giving in and letting us enjoy each other’s bodies.
And we did, oh boy, did we ever.
I had had sex before, but not like this.
What I had done before amounted to fumbling in the dark, boys not really knowing what they were doing. But Tate knew what he was doing. How to touch me, tease me, make me want more.
Nobody had ever looked at my body like he did, caressing it like it was a thing of beauty, licking and kissing me all over. Nibbling on my ear, licking me between my legs, just the thought of it sent shivers down my spine.
I thought of the sex I’d had with my ex-boyfriend, Colin. He was a friend of my brother’s and we went out for a few years, my last year of school and in college. We would see each other over weekends, making out in his car, or at his parents’ house, having to be as quiet as possible so they didn’t hear anything. The whole experience took about two minutes and we often had to stop in the middle, freezing, listening for a creak on the stairs that would signify his mom coming up to check on us. It was hardly a romantic setting.
After college, after Colin and I broke up, I saw another guy at the lake for a few weeks. Sex with him was strange. He had issues about his dick begin too small and wouldn’t let me look at it or touch it. He’d try and enter me and come as quickly as he could. As far as I could tell, he was pretty normal looking in that department but he would never believe me and I think that was one of the big reasons why he stopped calling me. Not that I minded. It was bad enough that he had hang ups about his dick, I didn’t want to start having hang ups about it.
But with Tate, everything happened the way it should. There were no problems, there was no weirdness. There was this insane energy between us and I was convinced he felt it like I did, it connected us and we were on the same wave length.
It was great but also confusing, because what did that mean?
I was still his PA and he was still my boss. We couldn’t be together in any way, that wouldn’t work at all.
Chapter 12
Tate
The drive to Malibu is a weird one.
I’ve driven the road many times before, but this time it’s like a surrealistic movie or one of those indie films people rave about that is a nightmare to sit through. When I leave the hotel, I feel good, euphoric even, after the night with Evie. It was everything I’d wanted it to be, all I’d been fantasizing about for weeks. She was so ready for me, wanting it every bit as much as I had. It was just like I’d thought, she was more than willing and had tried to stop it from happening because she thought it wasn’t right.
