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It seemed the women in my life weren’t all that lucky.
When I left Jacqueline’s that night, I decided to give my ex a call.
Olga sounded asleep when she picked up the phone. I checked my watch and saw that it was after eleven.
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”
“Tate, that you? Everything all right?”
I offered to call back another time but she said she was awake now.
“What’s up? We haven’t spoken in a while.”
“I know, I’ve been busy, I guess. You okay?”
She told me about work and a new guy in her life. I was happy for her, genuinely.
Then I asked her, “I’ve been thinking about things, and I guess, I was wondering, if there was one thing I could have done to make things better between us, what would that be?”
Olga laughed softly. “You’ve fallen in love,” she said.
“How do you know?” I didn’t even try to deny it.
“It changes everything, doesn’t it?” she said.
It was true, it felt like my whole life had been turned upside down.
“I think I’ve already screwed it up, to be honest,” I said. “I don’t even know what I did. I was just being myself. My nanny says I’m a cunt.”
“I think that’s a bit harsh,” Olga said. “You are an entrepreneur and innovator, it’s how you’re wired.”
“But does that mean I can’t have relationships? A real connection?”
“No, that part is up to you,” she said.
“But what do I do?” I asked.
Again, she laughed. “You do know what to do, you just don’t know it. The language of love is not something you have to learn. We all know how to speak it.”
“Christ,” I said. “You sound like the podcast of one of those gurus from Hollywood that Star was always listening to.”
Olga yawned. “It’s late, I want to go back to bed. You’ve got this, Tate.”
She put down the phone and I was left to mull over her words, feeling even more confused that when I spoke to her.
I couldn’t believe how many people had written songs and poems and movies about being in love.
As far as I could tell, it totally sucked.
Chapter 23
Evie
The next couple of weeks pass in a bit of a blur.
I discover that I don’t mind heights and I like hiking. I enjoy camping but I’m not fond of horses. I go for surfing lessons but after a couple of sessions out on the water, I decide that I will maybe go for another round in the summer. The weather is turning cold now and submerging myself in freezing temperatures isn’t doing it for me.
I’ve started looking for a job again but the search is slow.
