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I see his eyes widen in shock as puzzle pieces of memory crash into place and he understands exactly who I am.
"Emma?" He says to me. His voice is soft but almost deadly.
I stand, pushing my chair back. "I think I should go." I don't know what to say or how to fix this. I did not want him to find out like this. I have been fighting with the idea of trying to tell him for over a week now, but this is not how I wanted him to find out.
I gather my things and quietly let myself out of the house. I am drowning in humiliation. Lennox does not try and stop me. I hear him talking to Danny. I close his door behind me and suddenly the tears are streaming down my face.
At my own home, I curl up on my sofa and cry myself to sleep.
I stare at the alarm going off on my phone. I feel heavy and sad. I had half hoped that Lennox would come knocking on my door so that we could talk last night, or even this morning, but he did not. I flick the alarm off, sitting up on the sofa where I had fallen asleep.
I should get up and get ready for work, but I can't seem to make myself move. I can't face the hospital today, the rumors, the whispering. I definitely can't face Lennox. Now that he knows the truth about who I am, I don't think he will want anything to do with me. He must be thinking the worst things about me; wondering why I never told him; wondering if I used him to get the job. He won't remember how I applied for the job. He can only be thinking the worst.
I am sure that he will want to fire me anyway and probably never speak to me again. My heart aches and sits heavy in my chest. I lay back down on the sofa as fresh tears began to run down my cheeks. I cannot face work today.
I message the manager and I tell him I've come down with a stomach bug and will be resting at home. He let me know that he would pass the message on to my department and to Dr. Blake.
CHAPTER10
LENNOX
Danny is in bed. I am sitting on the balcony staring at the sky. It's dark and cold and I feel angry and hurt at the same time. How could Emma betray me like that? Why did she hide who she was?
I sigh and lean forward in the chair, rubbing my face in my hands, trying to ease the tension in my head.
I sigh again, heavy, and long.
Tonight was a disaster. Danny is angry with me. Our fight carried on after she left. He did not believe me when I told him I did not know it was Emma.
No wonder she feels so familiar. No wonder I have this feeling like I know her. I wonder what else she is hiding from me. She works on my team at the hospital, on my surgeries. She works right alongside me, and she never told me. Did she use me to get this job? Did she take advantage of me in some way?
I stand up. I can't sit out here all-night wallowing in this bullshit.
I know what it all leads to. The inevitable. I have to stop seeing Emma. I have to let her go. This definitely cannot carry on; it should've never happened in the first place. She is so young. How stupid am I to risk my career like this. Over a woman.
"Fuck." I swear under my breath.
I do not want to go inside yet, but I have work in the morning, and it's already very late. My thoughts are running wild with the unknown memories in my head. I feel at a disadvantage in this situation. I can't even ask at work because they are not supposed to know about my amnesia.
Frustrated, I walk back inside.
I glance towards the side of my apartment, the side where I know Emma is sleeping just beyond the wall. I want to ask her why. I want to bang on her door and yell at her. What good will it do? Nothing.
It still has to end.
She has betrayed me.
Climbing into bed I feel agitated. Sleep does not come for a few more hours and in the morning when I wake up for work; I feel drained and exhausted.
Sitting at my desk I glance over my schedule for the day. Thank goodness I only have one surgery. I am too tired for more than that. Then I can also skip out of here a bit earlier. I am surprised to see that Emma is not on my roster for the day. Why would she not be on my roster? She is still a member of my team; no one has been informed of anything that is going on. I worry that maybe the rumors are starting to cause issues. Well, it's a good thing that I'm ending things with her because things at work are clearly starting to get too real.
I do not see Emma all day.
Another scrub nurse, whose name I can't remember right now, tells me that Emma called in sick this morning. At first, I was worried, but then angry again. I would also hide if I had done what she did.
Can I blame her entirely? Yes. She knew all along who I was, and she hid it from me. Playing with me like that is despicable.
Late afternoon arrives and I'm finally done for the day. I clock out and head home. Outside my apartment, I stare at Emma's door.
