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30
Lily
It was 3AM when we got back from the hospital. Sebastian decided to crash in one of our spare bedrooms so he could grab a couple of hours extra sleep instead of going home. Johnny was staying in the same room as Anh, who had remained behind. She had offered to go with us to the hospital, but I had told her to stay and rest; I knew I would need her the next day to run our consulting business while I kept my attention on Connor.
“I’ll handle all the arrangements,” Sebastian said as we all walked in the front door. “I’ll start in a few hours.”
“Okay,” Connor said, zombie-like, and trudged slowly into our bedroom.
“We’ll be here if you need us,” Sebastian whispered to me. Johnny nodded somberly.
“Thanks, guys,” I said, then followed my fiancé into the bedroom.
He was already undressing, but staring straight ahead, like his mind was elsewhere. Or nowhere at all.
“…babe?” I asked timidly.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“…do you want to talk about it?”
“Nothing to talk about. Life goes on.”
My heart broke for him. I knew that wasn’t all that was going on inside him. It couldn’t be.
“Connor…”
“Right now I just want to sleep,” he said, and crawled into bed in just his boxers. He turned onto his side, his back towards me. “I just want to sleep.”
I undressed and slipped into bed beside him. I put my hand on his shoulder. After a few seconds, he put his hand on mine and squeezed lightly, then let go.
I let go, too, and let him be. Maybe what he needed right now was to be alone.
