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I didn’t want to be that guy – but I also couldn’t be the guy she wanted me to be. It wasn’t alright. We weren’t ‘all good’ now. The slate wasn’t wiped clean.
But I wasn’t about to say any of that shit. I sure as hell wasn’t about to get all touchy-feely about it. The truth was, I’d made a mistake – both in involving her again, and in sleeping with her last night. The best thing now was just to try to get past it, and not fuck things up any more than I had.
After all, I’d brought her back here to help me take down Lou. That part hadn’t changed.
Better to just keep it professional.
“It was fun – but that was last night,” I said. “It doesn’t change anything.”
Which, of course, pissed her off monumentally.
“I see,” she said, now in total bitch mode.
Fuck – there was no way I was dealing with this right now.
“Go get ready,” I said.
Instead of arguing, she just turned around and closed the door.
The last glimpse I had of her face, I could see her lower lip trembling.
I closed my eyes.
God DAMN it.
I wanted to go after her – I wanted to say I was sorry –
But sorry for what? Sorry for being the idiot who put myself on the line, all so she could lie to me and betray me?
Fuck that.
I had to let my anger and vindictiveness go, and I would… eventually. But I couldn’t right now. Maybe not for a long, long time.
So I just had to get through this. Take down Lou, get the club back… get my life back.
And yet…
Things had been so good last night… so fucking good…
But they’d been a mistake.
The only option now was to fix that mistake and get back on course.
Just get through it.
Get ‘er done, and get the fuck out.
48
Fiona
Jack and I rode separately to the meeting place – me in my car, him on his bike. There was no reason to, but it was obvious he didn’t want to talk, and I sure as hell didn’t want to.
Fucking ASSHOLE.
And me? Fucking IDIOT.
Did I really think he was going to suddenly forgive me?
