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"Ah, got it."
We eat in silence for a while.
Some people might not like this aspect of small-town living, everyone being in everyone else's business. It doesn't bother me. In fact, I like it. It makes me feel like I belong to something.
"So." I wipe at the corners of my mouth. "What brings you to the library every day? It looks like you're studying something."
7
Branum
I stop, mid-chew.
It's the one question I'd been hoping to avoid, but of course he'd ask. How is PJ to know the real, pathetic reason behind my visits to the library?
It's one thing to tell Harrick and Eddie. They reacted well, and when I caught up with my older brother, Marsh, a few days ago, he was supportive, too.
But PJ is someone new.
Someone I like.
Someone I hope might like me.
And not graduating from high school and barely being able to read isn't going to make a great impression. He's a librarian for Pete's sake. It's a safe bet to assume he loves books and literature. This could be as much of a deal breaker for him as someone who wants to live in the city is for me.
Fuck.
But I have to tell him the truth. I don't want there to be any lies or miscommunications between us. Ever.
Even if it means there may not be anusafter he finds out.
I lower my knife and fork and tell him everything, from dropping out of school when I was fourteen, to not being able to read very well, and about my goal to change that and get my GED.
"Wow." He leans back in his chair when I'm done. "That's…amazing. I'm really happy for you."
"You are?"
"Of course." He nods, causing a lock of hair to fall across his forehead. "What you're doing is so great. You should be proud of yourself."
He…he doesn't think I'm an idiot.
"Thank you for saying that."
He reaches over and strokes my hand, making small circles with his long, delicate fingers. "You can always rely on a ginger not to be judgmental."
He's smiling, but I pick up on an undercurrent of something more serious beneath his words.
"Thank you."
"You have nothing to thank me for." He traces a circle across the top of my other hand. "If there's anything I can do to help in any way, please let me know."
"You can help me get through these." I look over the massive spread on the table.
PJ throws his head back and laughs. "I can definitely do that."
* * *
After demolishing dinner—PJ was right, he could eat a lot. Not as much as me but an impressive amount for a guy his size, nonetheless—we retired to his living room.
