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I betrayed him when I kept the information of my inevitable death to myself, and he will never forgive me.
I’m learning to live with my mistakes, but they aren’t the best of companions.
I peek my eyes open and glimpse Evander running his fingers through his tan hair. It’s still dark in the room. Someone must have taken my mutterings seriously last night, because I’m in Evander’s chambers, where he prefers his curtains to be two fistfuls thick from his hangover days, and the curtains are drawn to block out the sunlight. The room is lit by a dozen flickering candles, and I can’t shake the feeling that an exorcism is about to occur.
I can’t push away the vision of bone-white runes painted on the floor, candles lighting those too.
“Still,” says the Naenden queen, “Blaise is no longer a child, but that doesn’t mean she’ll be ready to explain what happened to her when she wakes. We have no idea when her mind will recover.”
Ellie gives a reticent huff. She looks lovely, because it’s impossible for Ellie not to look lovely, but she hasn’t dressed for the day yet. She’s wearing a pale gold robe she must have grabbed from the closet to cover herself when she awoke. It occurs to me that, while this is Evander’s old room, it is likely that he and Ellie moved into a larger suite after they married. That she’s in a robe because she has no clothes in this particular closet, meaning she hasn’t left my side in hours. Something bulges in my throat.
“She spoke to me plainly last night,” Ellie says. “She was upset. Quite distressed, really. But she seemed in her right mind. I’m concerned with… Just be gentle when you question her.”
I can tell Ellie’s words are directed toward the king, but the room doesn’t heat again, so he must not take offense. “I’m sure you, your husband, and my wife will all make sure of that,” he says, though there’s no avarice in his tone. “In fact, it seems now is the perfect time to begin, if Blaise is willing.”
I tense, but it’s too late to still myself. Everyone’s head turns to me, and there’s no hiding the fact I’ve been eavesdropping.
Evander practically jumps from his seat. He looks ill, and I’m reminded of the time I dragged him back from a seedy tavern after he drunkenly stumbled into a gang of ruffians.
His sea-green eyes are laced with sorrow as he looks at me. “Blaise, I’m so sorry,” he says, nearing the edge of the bed. I flinch at his touch when he takes my hand, and pain flashes across his face as he misinterprets my reaction and pulls away.
He assumes I’m afraid of him after he locked me up in the dungeons for his wife’s safety. He doesn’t realize his touch hurts so, so badly because it reminds me of Nox. I force a carefree smile to my lips, and because I can’t stand the distress on his face, say, “Your hands are freezing, Andy.”
The strain in his jaw relaxes, and he lets out a reticent laugh, one that brings a genuine smile to my face. Then he rolls his eyes, and for a moment, I feel that my heart might explode. “My apologies,” he chuckles, that full, beautiful grin overtaking his features.
I smile back, and it’s in that moment I realize exactly how Andy’s felt for me my whole life, because I feel it, too.
I wonder how much happier I could have been all those years if I’d only accepted the love he was willing to give, and returned it in measure.
Evander sits at the foot of my bed, crushing my toes with his butt when he does it, and the familiar annoyance that boils my blood almost has me sobbing again.
Ellie lets out an exasperated laugh as well, even as she rubs at the redness in her eyes, and for a moment, it’s just the three of us, and the king and queen of Naenden are realms away.
It’s the Queen of Naenden whose voice punctures the moment. “Blaise, if you’re ready, we’d like to discuss the magic that inhabits your body.”
I must go still, because Evander looks at me warily.
“I’m not entirely sure, but I figure it’s gone,” I say, rather flatly. As if it doesn’t matter to me that the parasite that has plagued my body for months now has freed me from its clutches.
The queen lifts the brow over her remaining hazel eye. “Gone? How?”
I readjust myself in bed, pushing myself against the headboard. “Because I died. Obviously,” I say, pointing to the shadows that have developed underneath my eyes.
Evander flinches, and Ellie’s eyes go wide. Even the King of Naenden has the good sense to look alarmed, but Asha simply frowns, and for a moment, she seems lost in thought before saying, “He claims that would work.”
If anyone else in the room is alarmed that Asha seems to be communicating with someone the rest of us can neither see nor hear, no one displays any such signs.
It shouldn’t comfort me, but sometimes it’s nice not to be the only freak in the room.
“Is anyone going to explain to me who this mysteriousheis that you’re conversing with about my demise?” I ask.
Evander is the first to answer. “Asha here has a magic inside her, similar to your parasite.”
“Oh. Right.” I remember now. Evander had meant to contact the queen about her magic in an effort to find a way to extract the parasite from my mind, but I’d been kidnapped by the queen before his plans could ever come to fruition.
“You don’t remember?” he asks, concern wrinkling the skin around his eyes.
“Something about being kidnapped, tortured, experimented on, dying, and subsequently becoming a murderer must have caused it to slip from my mind,” I say through my teeth.
