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But Nox is not a corpse. And I’m going to get him back.
I turn back to Asha, reminding myself that other than a wound that’s already knitting itself up, she will come to no permanent harm. Az is several awful things, but there’s no doubt in my heart that he adores Asha and would be heartbroken if anything happened to her.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
Slowly, I untie the gag, then pull the wet glob of scrunched fabric from her mouth. Asha grasps at her throat in relief, and that pesky guilt raps at the walls of my conscience again.
I’m doing this for Nox.
Just like Asha would do this for Kiran if the situation were reversed.
Would she? the voice inside my head asks.
Well, like Kiran would do for Asha, I suppose. And I know exactly what Kiran would do based on his reaction to the shadow siren.
Az licks his lips. “Tell her to say it.”
“You can tell the Rip to open now,” I prod encouragingly.
Asha looks back and forth between me and Az, then opens her mouth.
Except it’s not Asha who speaks.
“You foolish, selfish little girl,” says a voice as low and rumbling as an underground current. “Your compulsion might be effective on Asha, but did you truly believe it would work on me?”
A moment later, Az has shoved the gag back in Asha’s mouth. She chokes on it, and Az’s eyes widen in distress.
“I’m so sorry. This won’t be forever,” he says, stroking her cheek until he catches a tear in the crook of his finger. Then he whips his attention toward me, his eyes ablaze. “You said this would work.”
“Don’t act like bringing her here wasn’t your idea in the first place,” I snap right back.
He runs his hands through his hair, staring down at the ground.
Then he pulls a stake from the ground and shoves it into Nox’s chest.
The world shatters into a million flecks of glass, then reworks itself as Az removes the stake and Nox’s chest reknits itself, tendons and skin pulling together as if woven together on one of Gunter’s looms.
He missed his heart. Az purposely missed his heart.
I have to repeat those words over and over in my mind, but still my pulse refuses to calm, my breathing refuses to steady.
I thought I lost him. Truly lost him this time.
“The next one won’t miss,” he says pointedly, holding up the stake that still drips with Nox’s blood.
“What exactly is it you want me to do?” I ask, my voice cracking at the seams.
Az shrugs. “Make her open it.”
I grit my teeth, trying my utmost to clamp down on my rising panic. “I can’t.”
Az jerks his hand, and I scream, clutching my hand over my mouth, but the stake doesn’t descend upon Nox’s chest. “Are you willing to tell him that?”
Tears wet my cheeks, matching Asha’s, but I don’t think about her tears. Don’t think about anything that threatens to make me feel guilty.
I’m so, so tired of battling that useless emotion.
“Please. Please, I know you don’t know me,” I say, addressing the Old Magic that dwells behind Asha’s eye. “But I am begging you. Anything. I’ll do anything you want if you just open that Rip and use the magic it produces to split Farin from Nox’s body.”
