AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Evander stares at the blood pooling at our feet.
He doesn’t have to answer.
“Kiran’s going to kill Blaise. That’s what you meant earlier when you said she’d signed her own death warrant,” I whisper to Evander, my back pressed against his firm chest as we ride on horseback across the Charshonian plains.
Amity and Marcus ride beside us, Amity holding the rope leading my horse. Evander has wanted me as close to him as possible, now that we know Blaise lost control. When he suggested it, I almost argued that Blaise would likely be satiated by the time we got to her, but the thought sent bile to my throat.
I vomited in the grass, and that had reminded me of Asha too.
Asha is my friend. She was my companion in Othian while we’d waited for Kiran and Evander to return. She shared in the secret of my pregnancy. She waited outside of Forcier’s before sunrise just to retrieve my father’s favorite bread.
I know I should feel more loss than I do, but it’s like my mind refuses to process that she’s gone.
But with all that blood…
“She’ll have to be on the run after this,” Evander says, his voice distant, his arm wrapped protectively around me as we ride.
“You think Kiran would hunt her?”
“You don’t?”
I keep my voice down, noticing Amity watching us intently as she bobs up and down on her and Marcus’s horse. “I think if she’s hurt Asha…”
“If? You saw the blood back there.”
I sigh. “I think he won’t hesitate to kill her if he ever sees her again.”
“Like he did his brother’s wife.”
“In the heat of the moment,” I add.
“Are you defending him?” Evander snaps.
I go silent in answer.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I know you’re worried about her,” I say, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t riled. “And Evander, I don’t want Kiran hunting her down any more than you do, but if she’s killed Asha…”
“Then what? We abandon her? When we should have seen it coming? Should have realized she was too weak to control her cravings?”
I shake my head. “Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“You have to stop taking responsibility for what Blaise does and doesn’t do. You’re like…” I groan, searching for the right words. “You’re like one of those parents whose children grow up to be menaces to society, but you can’t see them for who they’ve become. All you can see is a toddler who doesn’t know any better than to put their hand to the stove. But Blaise isn’t a child any longer, Evander. At some point, you have to stop thinking it’s your fault if she reaches out and touches something that ends up burning her. That ends up burning everyone else.”
“Have you given up on her?” For a moment, I think it’s an accusation, a way to make me feel guilty, and anger roils up within me. How dare he? Especially after how patient I’ve been with all this. With his rash promises and following Blaise out here and…
“Because if so, I need to know how you do it,” he says, and it’s only then that I recognize the despair in his voice. That he isn’t trying to accuse me at all, but that he genuinely doesn’t know.
“No.” I take a deep breath. “I haven’t given up on her. She’s my friend too, you know. And maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I only feel this way because I can’t bring myself to believe that Asha is really…I do love her—Blaise, I mean. But Evander, if you try to save someone who’s drowning, but they won’t let you, and they grab ahold of your neck and climb onto your back, flailing…Well, you’re not doing them any good, are you? You’ll both just end up drowned.”
“And the people I love, too.” He caresses my belly absentmindedly.
“Us, too,” I say, craning my neck upward and kissing him on the cheek.
“But, El? How do you let go of someone who’s drowning? How do you live with yourself?”
