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With a jolt, I woke up.
I looked beside me to Jeremy, who was sound asleep. His chest was rhythmically rising and falling in peaceful tranquility, contrasting my panic.
I watched him sleeping. My eyes traced the contours of his face and the subtle curve of his lips. Looking at him, my mind began to race. Could we really be a couple? Or was I possibly deceiving myself into believing that someone like Jeremy could find worth in someone like me? I knew what he’d said, but what if he was caught in the moment, too? What if morning pulled him out of this post-hook-up haze, leaving us both feeling awkward and ready to run?
Then, I started thinking about life back at the office. My job. The conference that lurked only hours away. The grip of imposter syndrome gnawed at me.
The terrible dream had rattled my mind back to old thinking and a fear of inadequacy. I had long held onto the notion that I was merely playing a role destined to be exposed as a fraud.
Cole’s verbal abuse over the years had dismantled any confidence I’d once had, leaving me in fear of a pre-destined failure that I had always believed waited for me around every corner. It had chased me out of Ohio, teased me from the shadows in New York, and now taunted me from my subconscious in this hotel room in Boston where I had felt so hopeful only a couple of hours ago.
I tried to shake it. I pushed Cole out of my mind as I laid back down, turning toward Jeremy. His presence served as a solemn reminder—an affirmation—of the support he freely gave. Jeremy had an unwavering belief in us both. In our connection and the future, we were both eager to start building together; I found solace and trust.
Resting beside him again, I let a sense of peace wash over me. Since awakening from the unsettling dream, the doubts and insecurities that plagued me began to lose their grip, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and determination. With Jeremy steadfastly by my side, I knew we could confront any obstacle ahead.
Closing my eyes, I surrendered to sleep again, allowing Jeremy's comforting presence to surround me. His steady breaths became a soothing nocturne as the storm of doubt within me gradually subsided.
With a sigh of relief, I smiled, knowing I was shielded from the doubts and insecurities that had haunted me for far too long. As dreams carried me away once again, I clung tightly to the unwavering belief that together, we could conquer all our obstacles and that our newly consummated connection was not only as real as the sheets we lay between but worth every ounce of effort required to keep it alive.
With a small grunt, Jeremy rolled to his side, reaching for me and pulling my body tight against his.
I smiled, shut my eyes, and let him carry me back into slumber.
Chapter Ten
JEREMY
Wakingfrommysleep,I smiled warmly, recognizing the gentle embrace of the first rays of dawn delicately filtering through the drawn hotel blinds. The radio by the bed still played a peaceful new melody as I was carried gently into my consciousness. By my side, Jill lay in a beautiful slumber, her chest rising and falling in cadence with every sweet breath.
Carefully, I pulled myself from the comforting nest of warm blankets and smooth skin, mindful not to disturb Jill. There was no point in her being up so early. I’d let her rest until the very last moment I could, despite an almost irresistible urge to wake her for another round of the lovemaking we’d done the night before. A sense of protectiveness for her fell over me, though; in the moment, I only truly wanted her to rest.
Instead, I decided to ensure she had the best, easiest morning possible ahead of our commitment to the conference. I saw it as a unique opportunity to demonstrate the depth of my affection as I reached for the telephone and dialed room service.
I ordered a large breakfast for us to share. I’d always felt that sharing a meal possessed an intimate quality, and breakfast in bed provided a simple yet meaningful way to illustrate a desire to care for her.
I noticed Jill's room key resting on the bedside table and smiled. During dinner the night before, she'd mentioned that she had hung her dress up in her room for the conference but would need to get up early to iron it out. At that moment, a mischievous idea sparked as I realized yet another opportunity to surprise her.
I grabbed the key, slipped out of my room, and entered her room next door. I carefully retrieved the dress and carried it back to my room, where I pulled out the complimentary ironing board and plugged in the small iron.
I carefully moved the warm iron along the soft fabric, careful not to scorch it as my eyes intermittently wandered towards Jill's gorgeous body, still curled up comfortably in our shared bed.
Once the dress was sufficiently pressed, I hung it carefully back on its hanger, placing it on a nearby hook by the bathroom door.
I looked at her beautiful face as she lay, sleeping serenely. I smiled, then took myself to the shower.
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. I felt the temperature, adjusted it carefully, and then stepped inside. Each droplet that hit my body melted away any stiffness from a hard night’s sleep.
Closing my eyes, I let the warmth cloak me, then soaped my body and hair before rinsing off and stepping out to dry myself. I checked myself out in the mirror. I had a face full of stubble but didn’t look unkempt. I used my electric razor and cleaned up my neck, leaving the stubble on my face intact, then slipped into a pair of sweatpants and walked back out into the room.
And then, as if choreographed by fate, there was a light knock on the hotel door. Breakfast had arrived.
I went to the door and retrieved the tray, tipping the young man as I pushed the door shut behind him. I carried the trays to the bedside table and sat them down.
Whether from the noise or the smell of the food, Jill began to stir, her fluttering eyelids gradually unveiling her beautiful, crystalline gaze. Our eyes met, and then she looked around the room with an expression of both sleepiness and astonishment. A smile delicately tugged at the corners of her lips, and my heart skipped a beat.
"Good morning," I whispered.
She blinked at me momentarily, her mind processing the scene unfolding before her sleepy eyes. Then, as realization set in, her beautiful smile broadened, and she scooted herself into a sitting position.
