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I paced around the room with everything ready to go while my thoughts raced. I always got nervous ahead of these things, but I felt a little comfort knowing that Jill was there that day. She had proven herself capable of carrying this event. I knew that all I really had to do was stand back and watch. Thankfully, watching her was one of my favorite new pastimes.
My phone buzzed with a text from Stacey. “You guys behaving?”
I stared at the words on the screen and allowed them to settle over my heart. I knew that Stacey knew or at least had some suspicion that Jill and I had been fighting against our mutual attraction. Now, reading her words, I wondered if she realized something I had not. This whole pairing may spell trouble for us both and the company as a whole.
Suddenly, all I could think about was how I had let professionalism slip away from me. Those lines that separate work from personal life were starting to get blurred together. It left me feeling conflicted.
I knew Jill and I had no choice but to work closely during this conference, but I suddenly felt fearful that intermixing our emotions could hurt our performances.
I looked back toward Jill, and she flashed me her gorgeous smile. My heart twisted with a pain I wasn’t expecting.
We had made a mistake.
I dreaded having to tell her.
Chapter Eleven
JILL
Uponenteringtheconferenceroom, it became evident that I had grossly underestimated the size of this event. We were ushered into a large room with stadium seating and a small stage looking out over a sea of chairs.
“Will this place be full?” I asked Jeremy as I set up the presentation.
He was lost in thought and didn’t hear me.
“Jeremy!” I said louder, catching his attention. “Is this place going to be full?”
“Probably,” he said, never looking up at me.
I tried to calm my nerves by reassuring myself that everything was foolproof. Jeremy and I had invested considerable time into thorough preparation, diligently rehearsing until it became second nature. However, as the room started filling with professionals from all over the world and I took my place at center stage, an overwhelming wave of anxiety crashed over me. I struggled to string together coherent thoughts.
Sensing my unease, Jeremy stepped in effortlessly, assuming control over the presentation with unwavering confidence and expertise. He navigated through the rehearsed slideshow, skillfully addressing questions and concerns efficiently. His professionalism and magnetism radiated brilliantly throughout the room, leaving me in awe of his ability to command the crowd’s attention. It was sexy.
Still, I felt shame for not being able to keep it all together.
As the presentation progressed further along its course, I remained frozen and failed to step in to help Jeremy during the times we’d rehearsed for both of us to present. I could sense mounting frustration from Jeremy as he glanced at me, disappointed, at least a few times during the ordeal. There were moments when his patience wore thin, hints of vexation seeped into his tone and mannerisms, causing some audience members in the front rows to shift uncomfortably in their chairs as their eyes moved back and forth between us, working out the underlying drama that was taking place.
I tried to step in and take over the parts I knew he would expect me to help with, but my nerves got the best of me, causing me to make a bigger mess. Every stumble only intensified Jeremy’s impatience and amplified my sense of inadequacy. It felt like a losing game.
Although I felt terrible, my admiration for Jeremy continued to grow. He truly exemplified professionalism, effortlessly adapting to the crowd's demands with remarkable finesse. Yet his ability to do so was a stark reminder of the lofty standards he held himself and his employees. I felt like I was failing a test.
As the presentation ended and the crowd cleared, I was overcome with disappointment in myself. I had allowed my nerves to conquer me, impacting our joint performance. While Jeremy felt frustrated, he managed to conceal it admirably as he turned back toward me and offered a half smile. “That could have gone worse,” he said. It was a weak attempt to make me feel better, but an attempt, nonetheless.
"I'm sorry, Jeremy," I confessed sincerely. "Today, I failed you."
He looked at me. His expression showed a mix of exhaustion and understanding. "It's alright, Jill," he responded gently, his tone now softened. "We all have off days. We will learn about it and improve on it for next time, right?"
Following the exhausting conference, Jeremy and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner. I had never been to Boston, so I asked Jeremy to pick the place. His chosen spot was everything you’d expect. It was a small, rustic establishment with dim lighting and gentle melodies echoing in the background. Predictably, he requested a corner booth.
Despite the pleasant surroundings, an awkward silence hung between us as we looked over the menu.
I could feel Jeremy's exhaustion and disappointment, burdening my heart profoundly. The strained atmosphere made it clear that he was still processing his frustration. I wanted to make things right, but I was afraid I would only fumble my words again and make things worse.
We finally ordered and then sat in awkward silence while waiting for our meals to be delivered.
As our meals arrived and we began eating them in silence, the sound of clinking utensils and the gentle murmur of other diners provided a subtle soundtrack to our shared misery. Trying not to stare, I watched birds bustling outside the window, although I occasionally stole glances at Jeremy, who appeared lost deep within his thoughts, staring only at his plate.
Once we finished our meals and Jeremy settled the tab, we left, heading back to the hotel.
