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That was the moment when my feet stopped walking on air, and I was returned to the harsh reality of my life.
I had to give them both up.
Had to break my promise.
Had to pretend that I didn’t care.
There was no other choice than to drive them both away just so I would know that, when they left, it would be together.
They needed to lean on each other more than they needed me. So I decided to break my own heart in order not to come between them.
I did a lot of things I’m not proud of to break things off with the twins, and I bear the scars of those decisions to this day.
After leaving the twins’ house, I have to pull over twice on my way home to keep from wrecking my car. I can’t see past the tears, can’t breathe past the pain, can’t function all while knowing I will see them again to let them rip me to shreds without meaning to.
At least, Damon doesn’t mean to, but I’m not sure I can say the same about Ezra. There’s a vein of cold cruelty in that man that I’ll never dig out. But I can’t claim I don’t deserve it.
I hurt them both in many ways. And then I just walked off like it meant nothing.
At this point, it might be easier to finally admit the truth to both of them. Just sit them down and confess that they both feel the same way for me, that I made my choice a long time ago, and that they need to figure out how to handle it.
But I’m still too damn afraid.
Afraid it might break them apart.
Afraid it might sever them permanently.
Afraid that I’ll never forgive myself for being the catalyst that causes a fracture in their bond.
Mostly, I’m afraid they’ll fight and that fight will lead to more bruises, more cuts, and more scars.
It would kill me to be the reason for another mark on either of their bodies.
Although, after what Ezra said to me tonight, I’m not sure he’s completely oblivious to how Damon feels. And the fact he was willing to hurt his brother because of me only shows me I was right to walk away from both of them.
Still, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“Especially when you’re so pretty when you cry...”
The fucking bastard.
I know what you’re thinking, only because I’ve thought it myself. Tell the evil twin to fuck right off and stay with the loving one. It would be so easy, right?
Sure. Just be sure to let my heart know that, or convince my soul to let go. Because only one of them brings me to life.
Maybe I just have a thing for toxic men.
Or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.
Either way, the anger I feel for what he said to me helps dry my tears, and I drive the rest of the way home on autopilot.
Dylan’s car is parked crooked when I pull up, but I don’t care or pay much attention when I park beside him.
I’m too busy being upset about the twins to watch where I’m going, my thoughts still back at their house when my leg catches something sharp, my skin burning from the deep scratch.
Hissing at the pain, I stop in place to examine the damage to my leg, and that’s when I notice the damage to Dylan’s car.
My eyes round to see the entire front end crushed in, the metal shredded and the headlight hanging out.
