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“This won’t work,” I tell him, leaving it at that simple statement because the reason for my answer is something that would hurt him.
Damon made a confession to me ten years ago that was wholly unexpected.
Not even Ezra knows the truth.
His lips thin as his eyes trap mine, old wounds reopening.
“It was never me, was it? It will never be me.”
“Damon...”
He shakes his head and pushes away from me, a shroud of rejection wrapping him, the truth always so loud and clear.
Damon was never the one I wanted to be with.
That didn’t mean he stopped fighting for it.
Stopped wanting it.
Stopped needing me to dance with him, both of us consumed by his blinding chaos.
Before I can sit up, he’s on his feet and across the room, his gaze holding mine as he leans against a far wall and crosses his arms over his chest.
“It won’t be either of you,” I say, “not after ten years. We shouldn’t have done what we did. It was a stupid mistake, something we promised to do when we were kids that never should have happened. I got carried away, and I was so happy to see both of you, but I should have been the one to stop it.”
“It’s fine, Red. Don’t let it bother you.”
Except it’s not fine. The pain I clearly see behind his eyes is wiped away when he blinks, just the corner of his mouth curling up. I know better than to buy the act he’s putting on that this isn’t affecting him.
“It doesn’t matter,” he finally mutters to himself as he runs a hand through his hair. “That’s not the only reason I’m here.”
Here it is.
I know it.
Can sense it like the question is floating around in my own head begging to be asked.
And sadly, for as much as I want to give him an honest answer, I can’t.
“Why did you do it, Red? Without one fucking word. Is it really out of sight, out of mind with you?”
He has no idea his fist is around my heart right now, that he’s crushing the organ between cruel fingers, squeezing every last drop of blood out until it’s left crushed and hollow.
Damon doesn’t have the first clue how hard it was to stay away from them.
And because of the reasonwhyI had to do it, I have to sit here and pretend that I’m not suffering just as much as him. That I’m not breaking right in front of him.
If I can make him believe it was me who wanted things to end, then I can prevent the twins from blaming - or hating - each other.
“Our weeks were up. You two left, and I knew I was leaving the country for a while. We never intended it to be more than that.”
“What you’re saying is bullshit, and you know it.”
Breathing out heavily, I pretend to be exasperated instead of choking on the knot of regret in my throat.
“It’s been ten years, Damon. Both of you moved on. We’re all adults now-“
He rushes forward and grabs me by my shoulders to lift me up. I’m on my knees now, our foreheads pressed together and his eyes no longer concealing that wild temper he can never control.
