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Someone.
Some woman.
A fucking firestorm that burns me and blinds me all at the same time.
We haven’t tried this thing for a full twenty-four hours yet, and I’m already snapping my leash and losing my fucking mind.
Emily
I’m in trouble.
More than the twins realize.
More than my friends realize.
More than I want to admit.
Being around Damon and Ezra tonight was harder than I’d imagined it would be, the thoughts inside my head fighting to free themselves from my tongue, but I had to keep swallowing them back.
I have to stay quiet.
By the time I get home, I’m broken.
Fucking defeated.
So torn and twisted that I can barely keep my eyes open as I walk inside the house and through a crowd of people.
Dylan’s having another party, and I don’t have the energy to bitch about it or care.
All I want is to crawl in bed and forget the pain of the past, the complications of the present and the fear I have for the future.
A few of his friends catcall me as I pass, the hallway filled with kids and pot smoke. I have no idea where Dylan even is in all of this mess.
Letting myself into my room, I’m thankful for thick walls that mute most of the noise, the shadows welcoming me as I walk across the room to strip off my jeans, shirt and bra.
Grabbing a thin sleep shirt from a drawer in my credenza, I tug it on and drop my weight onto the bed, pull the pillow up to my body and wrap my arms around it.
The first thought in my head is how slimy William Cross is, but I force that one out of mind since he’s the last face I want to see right now.
I can’t stand him, and the two hours I spent in his house left me feeling just as slimy as him.
Unfortunately, that just leaves me open for new thoughts to roll in, mostly of the twins, specifically of Ezra.
I can’t look at him without tears burning at the back of my eyes, can’t talk to him without fighting, can’t touch him and hold on to my sanity.
It only makes it worse to have Damon looking at me like I’m his world, the playful parts of him coming out while he hides the anger I know is inside him. I want all his playful parts, want all his smiles and all his energy. But not in the way he wants to give them to me.
Judging by the way Ezra kept flicking quick glances at his brother, he knows what Damon is thinking as well, and he doesn’t like it.
Which leaves me stuck in place.
How do you friendzone one brother while doing your best not to cling to the other?
How do you forget that you were the person who created such a fucked-up situation to begin with?
I was only having fun. I was following the rules and the agreement, yet somehow I still ended up royally screwing them both over without ever meaning to.
Those are the memories assaulting me now while tears stream down my face, and my body curls into a ball. I left them to protect them. To keep them together. To ensure their relationship didn’t suffer the consequences of my bad decisions and stupid behavior.
