Page 166 of Anger


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I’m to blame for thinking I could keep her a secret after taking her to my house.

Once Priest learned about Blue, it was over.

I should have known he’d go running to Shane.

If I hadn’t killed my father … we wouldn’t all be standing here right now.

It’s not your fault …

That’s what I told her.

I’m the one who should be shouldering the blame.

What I’m starting to learn about Blue is that she’s not the type to let one person carry the weight of any problem. Whether it be current or in the past, whatever a person struggles with, she insists on carrying it with them.

As far as admirable traits, she has a few that are more than I’ve ever known in another person.

Blue has compassion.

She has strength.

Her loyalty is solid.

But for all the good qualities she has, there is a dark spot in her that I’m beginning to understand.

She can’t trust.

Not me anyway.

And I know that’s my fault just like all the other problems.

When Blue trusts somebody, she loves them. Her heart opens up and takes them in. She would give her life to help them.

Blue doesn’t cry when she looks at my scars like Emily did; she makes me face them. She stands in that storm, and she offers to fight the battles with me that I’ve been too weak to battle on my own.

Maybe that’s my irritation with her.

The true reason she annoys me.

By dragging out my nightmares and not moving when my anger erupts, Blue is showing me where I’m weak. There she stands in that storm, sure-footed and strong. She doesn’t run away or let the anger control her—not like it does me.

Blue doesn’t tell me she’s sorry for what happened to me. She demands I get up, that I keep fighting. But instead of fighting against myself, she demands I fight for what’s best for me for once.

That’s a hard lesson to learn.

And this woman has been teaching it to me since day one.

We reach the penthouse suite. Blue looks around, her feet hesitant as she moves. I can tell she feels out of place, and I can’t stand that about her.

The woman is worth more than she realizes, yet she allows the world to beat her down until she believes she’s less than everybody else.

Although I’m not surprised, not after reading the information Taylor was able to find on Blue. She spent a lifetime running from one place to another, never allowed to establish roots. The number of schools she attended made it clear her mother never stayed in one place for long, which meant she never held down a decent job.

How Blue ended up in college is a mystery to me, especially a prestigious one. I’m sure the hours she spends dancing in that damn cage and the games she runs on abusive men is a necessity to pay her expenses.

I wanted to change that with our deal. But then I fucked up and got Priest involved.

Once Brinley is found and we have that problem solved, the next will be fixing what I’ve done.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com