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Yesterday.
Now I’m once again persona non grata on campus. No one in my class notices me. They look right through me, as if I don’t even exist. I would’ve thought I’d be used to it. It’s how everyone treated me for the last three years, so why does it hurt so much worse now?
Because, for a fleeting moment, I basked in the glory of Arch’s attention. Having him smile at me, chase after me, flirt with me, kiss me and everything else that followed after those kisses, it was like living in the sun. So bright and glorious and beautiful.
Now I’m in the clouds. Dark and dreary and heavy.
Dramatic but true.
I didn’t go to the admin office for second period. Couldn’t stand the thought of facing him, though I know Vivian would’ve shoved him back into that tiny office and made him staple paper packets, and he probably would’ve gone without protest. I’m sure he’s furious with me, and I can’t blame him.
In his eyes, I did him dirty. I did him wrong. If he only knew the truth, that I’m protecting him from my father, but I can’t tell him that. He wouldn’t understand.
So, I didn’t put myself in that situation. I’d already gone to the office before school started and told Vivian I couldn’t be there during second period and did she mind if I went to the library instead? She said it was no problem and the moment the bell rang, indicating first period was over, I was up and out of my desk in an instant, practically running to the library, isolating myself completely. It was much easier hiding away in there, than facing the boy I’ve fallen in love with.
It's true. I’ve fallen in love with him, but it’s too late for us.
When it’s lunch, I dash into the dining hall and grab one of those pitiful sandwiches and a bag of chips, nervously standing in line to check out. Hoping against all hope that I don’t run into Arch or anyone else from his friend group.
“Oh God, so is the rumor true? You and Arch actually broke up?”
I briefly close my eyes at the sound of Cadence’s whiny voice coming from behind me. She would be the person I have to actually face first.
“Can’t speak? What’s your problem? Too scared of me?” she taunts.
I whirl around to face her, the sight of that petty smirk on her face filling me with anger. Balling my hand into a fist, I keep it at my side, secretly wishing I could punch that smug expression right off her face.
No other person makes me feel violent like Cadence does.
“What happened between Arch and me is none of your business,” I say through clenched teeth.
Her smile is small, her eyes flickering with what I can only assume is victory. “I’m sure he figured out what a boring lay you are and dumped your ass immediately. He should’ve done that a long time ago if you ask me. I never understood what he saw in you.”
“Right back at you,” I toss at her. Her eyes go wide. I can tell she didn’t like that, but for once I don’t care. “And by the way, I’m the one who broke up with him.”
Cadence bursts out laughing. “You’re a liar.”
“It’s true.” I shrug.
She tilts her head to the side, contemplating me. “I could ask him, you know. He wouldn’t lie to me.”
He might just to save face but maybe not. This is Cadence, after all. I don’t think Arch really cares what she thinks of him.
“Go ahead and ask him.” I lift my chin, trying to appear strong. Hoping against hope that I don’t fail. “I ended it between us last night.”
Not my proudest moment, or my easiest. I still can’t believe he called me after I sent that text, but I should’ve known. Arch wouldn’t accept a breakup over text.
That’s not his style.
“I think you’re full of shit so I’m definitely asking him. He’s right over there. Arch!” Cadence waves her hand above her head and if I could melt into the floor, I so would. I do not want to have this confrontation right now with him, while Cadence is watching. I’m trying to avoid him, not actually speak to him.
But I don’t even need to look to know he’s drawing closer. I can feel his presence, and when I glance to my right, I find he’s standing right there between Cadence and me, a little frown forming between his eyebrows.
“What do you want, Cadence?” Arch sounds exhausted.
He won’t even look at me.
“She said she broke up with you, but I don’t believe her.” Cadence points at me like she can’t even acknowledge me by my name or treat me like a human being. God, I really can’t stand her and I try my best not to dislike anyone.
