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“It’s too bright, huh. The color. I thought I would like it but I don’t know. I feel stupid.” I’m this close to bolting for the back door of my house, embarrassed I would admit this to him.
“I like the color.” He takes a step forward, his voice gentle, his expression…sincere. As if he can sense my panic and wants to reassure me. “You look good, Daisy.”
“I-I do? You’re not just saying that?” My heart beats extra fast as he draws closer, and I tell myself to calm down. It’s going to be okay. It’s just Arch.
But that’s the problem. It’s Arch. And I’m all alone. Dad is gone. School has been out for hours. Most of the admin staff is gone, only the dorm advisors are left behind. Oh, and that one old, chubby security guard, who even I could take down if I wanted to.
Not that I want to take down Cliff, but he doesn’t instill any sort of safe feelings inside me when I see him.
“I would never just say that. When it comes to you, I mean every word I say.” He stops, an entire row of vegetables between us and I’m tempted for the briefest moment to throw myself at him. Just so I could feel his arms close around me.
Just once.
“I have a question for you,” he says, his voice calm. Like he’s not trying to talk me down from a full-blown panic attack.
“Wh-what is it?” I hate that I’m stuttering, but he just makes me so nervous.
“Why do you never clip any of the live roses and bring them inside?”
I stare at him, stunned he would ask. Surprised he noticed. Not even my father pays that close attention to me.
“What do you mean?” I ask warily, my defenses up.
As usual.
“I’ve noticed that about you, whenever I catch you cutting roses. You only take off the dead ones and trim back the branches. The dead leaves. You always leave the roses that are budding, letting them bloom fully instead of cutting them and putting them in a vase to enjoy inside,” he explains.
Should I be worried he noticed all of that? Because I’m not. A flush of pleasure washes over me at his words, at his attention to detail.
He notices me.
He sees me when it feels like no one ever does.
“I enjoy seeing them here. In their natural element.” Swallowing hard, I decide to be real with him. “When you clip them, they’re essentially dead. You kill them for what? To put in a vase and water so they can look pretty on a kitchen counter or a table for a few days? No. I’d rather keep them alive for as long as I can. Everything deserves to live.”
Arch stares at me, seeming to take in what I just said, and I can’t help but worry he might think I’m…I don’t know. Weird? I have issues. Don’t we all?
My issue is with death.
Time is fleeting. One moment you have someone in your life, and the next they’re gone. Why not enjoy everything you can in its natural element? Like roses?
“Daze…” His voice drifts and I watch as he tilts his head back, his hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts. I stare at the strong column of his neck, noting the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallows. He’s scaring me. This long pause, like he’s trying to work up to say something.
What is it? What’s wrong? What did I do?
All those questions run through my head, bringing that panic attack roaring back to life. Bigger than before.
“I need to tell you something.” He says this to the sky and my heart is in my throat, I swear. “But I don’t want you to get mad.”
His words make my head spin and I close my eyes for the briefest moment, swallowing hard. I’m swaying on my feet, finding it difficult to stand up straight and there are dots flashing before my eyes. “Arch.”
My voice sounds like it’s coming from far away, his name a croak on my lips.
He’s there, right when I begin to crumple, his strong arms coming around me, catching me before I fall. I don’t completely black out, but I was about to. I know I was. I’ve done this before, especially when I was younger. Right after Mom died. I was so fragile then. Never eating, not really taking care of myself.
When I blink my eyes open, I find Arch’s face is in mine, worry etched into his handsome features, his hands gentle as he holds me.
So gentle.
