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“And don’t say you’ll let me do whatever I want to you. You’re not ready yet,” I say firmly.
“But…”
“You’re in a vulnerable spot,” I say, cutting her off. “Just—I’m going to leave. It’s what’s best.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
We walk to the front door together, her trailing behind me, her sadness and confusion palpable. When she reaches around me to unlock the door, I sweep her into my arms and kiss her. Hard. With lots of tongue.
She gives in easily, whimpering into my mouth, her arms coming around my neck and then I’m shoving her away, hating how out of control she makes me feel.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say with all the conviction I can muster because that’s something I can guarantee.
I will see her tomorrow. In class.
And after class too, if I’m lucky.
NINETEEN
DAISY
I entermy English class the next morning in a daze, my head still swimming with thoughts of Arch. What we did last night. How he touched me. How he kissed me. How he left me.
That hurt the most, but he did it for me. At least that’s what he implied. And when he whispered in my ear before he kissed me, those words still live inside me, just like everything else he says to me.
Every fucking dirty thing your sweet mind can come up with, that’s what I want to do to you, Daze.
I have a pretty vivid imagination, thanks to the romance books I read. And while I’ve never done any of the things I read about, beyond kissing Arch for the first time last night, I can come up with all sorts of…sexual situations. Involving me and Arch.
My entire body goes liquid at the mere thought.
Glancing around the room, there are only a few students sitting at their desks. Two girls sit close, talking in hurried whispers, and when I walk by, one of them glances up, her gaze meeting mine.
“Hi,” she says, surprising me.
“H-hi,” I return, scurrying away before I say something stupid and falling into my desk at the front of the class.
Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I just be friendly and not worry over it all the time?
I really need to work on my social skills.
Minutes later and the bell is about to ring, but still no Arch. This isn’t unusual. He runs late always. He has his own clock and doesn’t care what anyone thinks, while I’m early to the point of ridiculousness.
Mr. Winston enters the classroom, whistling under his breath, cheerful as usual. He flashes me a smile and a few days ago, I would’ve thought he looked handsome. I still sort of think that. He’s young and attractive and a lot of girls on campus have a crush on him.
But now when I think of someone handsome, I immediately think of Arch. I think of the way he kissed me with this almost—desperate quality. Like he somehow knows whatever it is we’re doing won’t last and he needs to get as much of it, as much ofme,as he can.
I feel exactly the same way.
A sigh leaves me and Mr. Winston gives me a funny look.
“Morning, Daisy.”
“Good morning, Mr. Winston,” I say just before I glance toward the door.
Still no Arch.
“Distracted?” my teacher asks.
