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Logan: If you’re the kind of woman who invites herself along on trips, then sure.
Me: I am EXACTLY that kind of woman!
Braden: Lame. We’re stuck at practice, and it’s boring.
Logan: If you’re at practice, why are you texting?
Braden: Because we’ve finished workouts for the day. Now we’re reviewing game footage of the Titans prior to this Sunday’s game.
Me: If the owner wants to tank the team and trade you guys in the off-season, why even bother preparing for the game? Why not let the Titans roll over you?
Braden: Fuck if I know!
Christian: You can still try to do well and increase your value as a player. Then maybe they’ll keep you on the team.
Braden: Or I’ll become so valuable that they get a big, juicy return for trading me! Did you ever think of that, Mr. Smartypants Quarterback?
Christian: Do whatever you want. I’m going to give it my all on Sunday.
Braden: Even if it’s your last game on the Colts?
Christian: ESPECIALLY if it’s my last game on the Colts.
Logan: Beth and I were having a nice conversation before you two jackasses joined in. Why don’t you argue in person and save us all some time?
Braden: Because Christian is watching game footage in the room with the other two quarterbacks, and I’m in the room with the receiving corps.
Me: Are you both coming over after practice to pick up Claire, or just Braden?
Christian: I’ll come too if you want. I can pick up dinner.
Braden: Let’s get Mexican! Claire is obsessed with quesadillas. Seriously, just say the word around her and she’ll lose her eight-year-old shit. It’s hilarious.
Me: Mexican sounds great. I’ll text you what Claire and I want.
Braden: I’ll tell you what she wants: a cheese quesadilla with extra “quack and mole hay.” That’s how she says guacamole. Shit’s adorable.
Me: Oh, and there’s something important I want to talk to you guys about over dinner.
Braden: Uh oh. You’re totally breaking up with us, aren’t you?
Christian: She’s probably breaking up with YOU. Logan and I are enough for her.
Me: Sorry, but you can’t get rid of me that easily ;-)
Logan: What do you need to talk about? I’ll be home from my trip in two days.
Me: I don’t want you guys to worry, but it’s kind of time sensitive.
Braden: We’ll Facetime you if it’s important. And then we’ll totally double-team Beth while making you watch, to remind you what you’re missing.
Me: That sounds hot.
Logan: Fuck off. Nobody wants to see your pasty white ass.
Me: HEY!
Logan: I was replying to Braden.
