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He nods."I think that's where the beds are."
Understanding dawns on me."How didn't I think of that?"
"Because you don't want to use one of them," he points out."So why would you think of them?"
"I guess."I chew on my bottom lip."Do you think it's okay that I try to pull magic from them?"
He nods.
I take a deep breath, still feeling a little weird about this, but considering the alternative, I'm not sure I have a choice.
I close my eyes and focus on the attraction coming from above.Instead of just acknowledging what they're feeling, I try to reach out for it and encourage it closer.This would potentially be easier if I could actually remember what it felt like to feed my magic.I dismiss that thought.Dwelling on it won't achieve anything and it's not something I should let myself get distracted by that.
"I don't know what I'm doing," I murmur.
Darius takes my hand in his and smoothes his thumb over my fingers.
I focus on the sensation and the way it makes me feel, realising that it's a good distraction and is helping to centre me more than I expect.My shoulders relax, though I hadn't realised they were so tense until they did.
I try again, coaxing the tension in the air towards me.
The gnawing sensation within me changes, expanding as if encouraged by my actions.
Which could only mean that whatever I'm doing isactuallygoing to work.
My breathing becomes a little erratic as I try to control the flow of magic in and through me, but little by little, the gnawing actually subsides.
I don't change anything I'm doing and focus on pulling as much of it into me as possible, feeding the magic until the gnawing is completely replaced by a feeling of contentment.
My eyes snap open and I look around, half expecting the world to look different from how it did before.Unsurprisingly, it doesn't.Though my head does feel clearer.
"You okay?"Darius asks, concern clear on his face."You were breathing funny."
"I'm fine," I respond."Actually, I'm more than fine."
"It worked?"
I focus on how I'm feeling inside myself, tears springing to my eyes as I realise that the gnawing sensation within me is gone.Not just slightly, either, but completely.I nod, unable to find the words to put how I'm feeling inside.
His whole face lights up as my response registers.
Without meaning to, I let out a loud sob.
Darius doesn't waste any time pulling me into his arms and rubbing a soothing hand down my back.
I press my head against his chest, taking comfort from the steady beating of his heart.Another sob bursts from me and I start crying.The relief of the situation flooding through me.Darius doesn't say anything and just continues to hold me, not questioning my response, or why I'm feeling the way I am.It only makes me appreciate him more.
Once the tears have finally managed to subside somewhat, I pull back and look up at him, finding caring eyes studying me intently.
"I'm sorry."I wipe the last of the tears away from my eyes.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for."
"I didn't mean to just start crying on you like that.I've made your shirt wet."I touch the spot where my tears have made a circle of water.
"That's okay.You needed it."
"I think I'm just relieved.I've lived with this for so long, and now it's...gone?I mean, for now.I'll have to do this again.Or work out how to have sex, I guess."
